In the event of a castrophic Israeli assault on Lebanon; the Shiites have to decide whether to stay with HA’s Persian masters or protect their Lebanese identity…Either way in case of a conflict do not fool yourself that HA will survive or there will not be a civil war! They will be cut off from all sides and totally decimated! These are facts my man; not mike’s fiction! that is the reason HA will NEVER antagonize Israel again…Just will keep up the empty rhetoric, barking and chest thumping!

We’re staying at a kibbutz hotel called Kfar Giladi, where we’re literally moments away from the border with Lebanon (which lobbed a rocket into Israel last week) and an hour away from the border with Syria (which is calling for negotiations while threatening “resistance” at the same time). We’re having a great time: the weather’s cool and almost fall-like (which is not easy in a country that is mostly desert!); there is already a dusting of snow on Mount Hermon and today we’re off to explore a nearby hot springs called Khamat Gader near the Golan Heights (which is a piece of land Syria wants to negotiate and resist about!).

Along the way to Kfar Giladi, we passed from the near-tropical, with fields of banana trees, to the more temperate upper Galilee area, with field after field of apple trees.

Two weeks ago, however, we drove South, through the starkly beautiful Negev desert, to the opposite end of Israel — Eilat on the Red Sea. There we were about a 15-minute drive away from Egypt (whose parliament has been making rumbly noises about the treaty with Israel). A mere 10-minute drive to the west, and we could have crossed the border into Jordan (which has also been grousing about their relationship with Israel).

To put some of this geography in perspective, let’s say Kfar Giladi is actually Boiceville. It’s as if Mount Tremper (Lebanon) has been shooting rockets down Route 28 toward the Boiceville market, while the governor in Albany (Syria) is threatening to send troops down the Thruway if Boiceville doesn’t give up the Onteora Central School!

As for a local geographic analogy to Eilat, it would be as if the residents of West Shokan and Olivebridge had decided they didn’t like the new construction of the sewage system and treatment plant being built along Route 28, and they were threatening to break off relations with Boiceville!

That’s how crazy living in Israel can be. But, internally, Israel can be crazy, too.

Just the other day, driving through a field the scene was so beautiful that I felt as though I could stay here forever. The fields stretching before me were brilliantly green from the recent rains we’ve had, and ancient cypress trees were waving gently next to the ruins of a house that had been empty since the Turkish occupation. It was a moment so pure that I wished it could last forever.

Ten minutes later I was trying to find a parking space at the Super Sol supermarket in Nes Ziyyona. Parking in a busy supermarket lot in Israel is a lot like the old bumper car ride in Coney Island: they’ll hit you, drive over an abandoned cart, or go over the curbs, just to get that last space. I found it so maddening that I gave up and decided to drive back to the Super Sol in Rehovot, where the parking lot was so big I knew I’d at least find a space … and survive the experience! Forget about the fact that it took me 10 minutes to get out of the lot.

Later I was in our local branch of Stematsky’s Bookstore (the Israeli equivalent of Barnes & Noble) trying to buy two English language newspapers, which ended up taking me 25 minutes! One woman held up at least a dozen of us, while she had at least 20 books gift-wrapped by the single harried clerk. By the time I finally staggered out of Stematsky’s, I was ready to fly back to the States, right that moment!

But here we are up north, where the pace is slower and people are less hassled, which is ironic when you think about it. The people who live in this area (several nearby Israeli Arab and Druse villages included) have been on the receiving end of periodic rockets and shells from Lebanon for more than three decades. Yet they carry on their lives in regular fashion: kids play in yards, mothers wheel strollers, merchants peddle their wares, growers pick their apples.

You want to know the craziest thing of it all? Tonight we’re going to watch a hockey game at the rink in nearby Metullah, which is two minutes away from the “Good Fence” border crossing into Lebanon!

Shirley Fischler lives in Boiceville and New York City. Her column appears each Saturday in the Life Section.