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YOU MIGHT BE A AOUNY If…

Posted by othello

YOU MIGHT BE A AOUNY –Proposed by LebanonJon

1. When you photoshopped your school report card, Instead of A’s you put D’s.

2. The only people who showed up at your birthday party were shiites. And a driver from hizballah paid them each fifty dollars to stick around.

3. After getting an F in physical education, you hired a snoopy to rig your teachers car with explosives

4. You Scream and spit and shout when people make noise during Aouns press conferences on tv.

5. You have vague unclear memories of trying to Kick syria out of Lebanon but you can’t be sure since you now since you can only hear an echo of ” Al mowto li amrika” ringing in your 3 remaining brain cells

4. You hate Samir Geagea with an uncontrolable inhuman intolerant fanatic rabid fundamentalist racist megalomaniacle schizophrenic murderous passion and you call that feeling : simple Logic.

5. You joined your Hezbollah friend in what you thought was a Rallye Paper and it turned out to be the assasination of Pierre Gemayel.

6. Your math professor in the Dahieh High School failed you for Subtracting 4000 from 12000 and getting 20,000. And when you told him that you used the Sayyed Hassan Theorem , he immediate changed your grade to an A+.

7. Your first car was a blue Jeep Cherokee, and your buddy from SSNP had it painted orange for you and even changed the License plates.

8. You think the Sunnis are a huge threat to Christians in Lebanon because they want to islamize the country, so you named your son Hassan to show your support for Hizballah in their efforts to keep lebanon democratic.

9. You took a day off to sell your grandfathers antique gold watch to buy Otv shares on margin as you believe it is a sound investment. Then you went back the next day to camping in Martyrs square.

10. You had an HIV test and you came out positive, so you photoshopped it “negative” to show to your girlfriend.


Filed under: Humor, Other
Posted by othello on 03.19.07 @ 9:53 am |

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31 Comments. Add your own...

  • 1. S.M.S. | March 19th, 2007 at 11:50 am

    HAHA… lol
    The 2 number 4 are soooo true.

  • 2. 3awne ma7et | March 19th, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    U MIGHT BE A LFer IF:
    1.U THINK THAT YOU ARE A MAJORITY IN LEBANON
    2.U THINK THAT ALL PEAPOL LIKES YOU
    3.U HAVE A CRIMNAL RECORD
    4.YOU WORK IN A CAR GARAGE OR IN A HAIR SALOON ect.
    5.YOU NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL
    6.UR SO DUMB THAT U ARE FOLOWING el docteur
    7.U MIGHT FEEL SO REJECTED
    8.EBA ZOUZOU
    9.u hate general michel aoun because aherkoun kelkoun
    10.u have no life
    and many more….
    hope u’ll post my comment mr n10452.THIS IS MY RIGHT TO REPLY THIS UNREALLL POST.ANS THANK YOU

  • 3. N10452 | March 19th, 2007 at 8:56 pm

    3awne ma7et, i posted it even though i didnt want to .. the original post is a political satire one, urs is purely personal and is degrading ..

    Ur reply is honestly a disgraceful one to the FPM, working in a garage or in a hair saloon targets a lot of Lebanese and a lot of FPMers ..
    not going to school as well …

    Anyway it seems u missed out the english lessons in ur school since u cant spell a word.

    Cheers and a brotherly advice, do re-read ur reply before posting it.

  • 4. paul | March 19th, 2007 at 9:30 pm

    work in a hair saloon?or in a car garage?please 3aouni ma7t tell me:is this bad?or is this good?

  • 5. BIBO | March 19th, 2007 at 11:57 pm

    3AWNE MA7ET
    TAJ RASAK WLE L OUWET.
    RO7 DOB 2IKHTAK MIN L CAMPS.

  • 6. Son of Ehden | March 20th, 2007 at 4:06 am

    There is no shame of working in a salon or in a car garage. There is no shame in any other job as long as you respect the law and respect others. When will we evolve as people and stop judging others based on their employment, financial situation…
    As for having criminal record, well we know who issued those records, the syrian regime in Beirut. As for times of war, that’s a different story. I am not an LFer , aouneh or anything else for that matter, i am zghertewi, marouneh, libneni… Ya haram, ya haram for those who died in 1989 and 1990 and here we are again, we haven’t learned anything.. Ya haram for those who died in June 1978 and Safra 1982, here we are again… More divided then ever…
    I live abroad but it is very sad to see the christians in Lebanon so divided.. for what ? Can someone please tell me, why are we so divided … ? Take an average aouneh, another average LFer and ask them, what did Aoun or Geagea do for you: the answer is nothing, nothing at all… Sometimes i wish these two characters will disapear or die…as i strongly believe their death will bring life to the christians in Lebanon. I do not like either hakim or general but have no respect for general and a lot of respect for Hakim for the simple reason is that he didnt run and leave people behind, he stood by his beliefs (right or wrong) for thirty years… I am totally against inter christian clashes and fighting… for me that is something forbidden. It is much better to argue here then on the streets or anywhere else… Just ask yourself a question: Will the shi’it or sunni care for you more then your christian brother ? The muslims shall ask themselves the same question…

  • 7. Son of Ehden | March 20th, 2007 at 4:15 am

    To clarify one point: I do support March 14 movement but i strongly believe that they’ve made plenty of unforgettable mistakes along the way… I think the christians in Lebanon need new leadership, a fresh, educated leadership… How can a country rebuild itself when it is being ruled by the same people who destroyed it ? Sometimes i think that we dont deserve Lebanon as a country, a nation with all its natural beauty… we destroyed everything, even the land, the trees….
    Many in Lebanon claim to be free… we might be free physically but not free morally and spiritually… Our minds arent free as we continue to elect the same thieves, crooks and murderers that destroyed our country… We all destroyed… and now we cry about it… what do we do ? Nothing… we cry, complain and do absolutely nothing… I believe that our history as maronites will soon be very similiar to that of the jews… Most of us will leave Lebanon, become scattered all over the world… going through one disaster after another… yalla good night to all and maybe we can carry this discussion sometime in person over a nice cup of coffee in Ehden, Bsharri, Beirut, Jbeil….

  • 8. WHAT | March 20th, 2007 at 5:39 am

    You Might Be 3awne Ma7et IF:
    1. You can’t spell
    2. You have no grammar skills
    3. You write a list and forget your Caps Lock is on
    4. After seeing your Caps Lock is on, you turn it off and continue and finish your list
    5. Instead fixing your post, you submit it
    5. You make no sense (i.e. “peapol likes you”???)
    6. You try to insult an LFer but end up insulting yourself
    7. You spell and with an “S”
    8. You think YOU are the majority
    9. You defend yourself by attacking others

  • 9. proud 2 b lf | March 20th, 2007 at 6:38 am

    ya 3awne ma7et we have no life????we dont go to school??? w men min bteklo 2atle bel hem3at wel maderes??????? lol 7ki shi 7a2i2e….ma tekhteri3
    hayda yalli shatrin fi ento

  • 10. S.M.S. | March 20th, 2007 at 7:14 am

    I think 3awni ma7et’s comment was meant to insult LFers(ana genious, ektashafet elbaroud :P), but unfortunately for that person, it backfires and invokes sympathetic laughter, and that feeling you get when you are embarrassed on behalf of someone…
    And what’s with number 3????!!!!! Not to mention 8, seriously so people dislike aoun because of envy and resentment only?? not due to his irrational and severely damaging political actions???
    Next thing you will say we resent him because he is so popular with the Christains :D?
    Ah but I believe to you now he is not a Christain leader as someone mentioned but a Lebanese leader, because you know he is not so popular with the Christains anymore.

  • 11. Michel | March 20th, 2007 at 7:15 am

    1- IT IS SOOOO FUNNY lolololol. I especially liked # 3 & 6
    2- Reply from 3aoune ma7et is also so funny. I am glad it was posted to show the difference between it and the one posted by Othello. What lack of culture.

    I am sure that not all 3aounis are like this one. Although I do not agree with their beliefs, however I know there are quite a few smart and educated ones.

  • 12. laroush_Z | March 20th, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    hahahahah that was very funnnyy ,the post was nice but the reply of 3awni ma7t was soooooo cheap like them !

  • 13. mouwatin lebnene | March 20th, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    To be honest,I support el tayyar.I was the first to be in manifestations when general was in france i was so happy that my voice was the same that an ouwatje voice I was happy .I was so happy that me and my brothers in LF where in the same manifestations reaching for the same goal(to kick syria out of lebanon).7amdela this goal have been reached.I remeber 14 marsh we were all down in martyr square we were all screaming syria out we were all happy that finally lebanese are united I saw down there all kinds of peapol I saw FOR ONCE AFTER MANY YEARS lebanon united.Even though we suffered from the 3aj2et el ness down there and it was impossible to come back to our houses before midnight it was incredible this day will be unforgetable in Lebanon history.May 7 was the day General Aoun came back to lebanon after 15 years.One more time all lebanese came to welcome General back.I did not believe it but i have to admit it and I was very happy about it that i saw a lot of LF suporters welcoming the general back.This was great I thaught that finaly we and LFers are unify.Unfortunatly General and Dr GEAGEA have done wrong moves.Now I am still Aounist.Everybody is making mistakes and the only peapol who will pay for those mistakes are the lebanese peapol.Ya shabeb lezim kelna net3alam men aghlatna 3ayb ba2a nshouf el senne 3am byehjoum 3alal el shi3e 3ayb nshouf lyoum el 3awniye wel ouwatjiye 3am b 2abro ba3ed walla 3ayb!!Lezim ya shabeb netzakar eno walaw 7ata la fatra assira twa7adna w fina nerja3 netwa7ad eza bedna.I read the comments in this site I only see insults between LFers and FPMers.Shou hal mas5ara stop in sulting eash other ya jame3a.Finally yes I am a aounist but i am very open minded on my brothers from LF or from any other parti in Lebanon I don’t insult anyone because i respect everybody and this is how everyone should be.I hope that Lebanon will be the lebanon that evryone dream to be.I hope we will see once again Lebanon united and thank you.

  • 14. DJUAN | March 20th, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    proud to be lf ; SINCE YOU DONT LIKE CAPITAL LETTERS ,I WOULD LIKE TO REPLY THIS WAY;
    1, YUP ,WE ARE 3/4 AL BALAD UNLESS YOU ARE MAJORITY AMONG CHRISTIANITY? ARE YA?
    2 IT DOES HURT TO BE MINORITY! NO DOUBT, CHRISTIANS ARE MINORITY IN LEBANON, AND YOU DONT EVEN REPRESENT 1/4 OF THEM? DO THE MATH ,AND SHOW ME THE RESULTS !
    3, WE ARE LEBANESE ,OUR CAPITAL IS BEIRUT NOT BCHIRI !
    4,OUR GOD IS GOD NOT BASHOOO!
    5,WE ARE EDUCATED NOT STREET FIGHTERS.
    6, WE BELEIVE IN GOD,
    NOT :AHLAN BI RAB RABAK YA 7AKIM ?!!!
    REMEMBER?
    7, LEBANON NOT ISRAEL !
    8,PATRIOTIC NOT RACISM !
    9, HEROISM NOT LOSERS !
    10, GMA NOT SAMIR JEAJEA !
    11, 7OULAFE2NA MA3ROUFIN BASS 7OULAFE2KON GHADAROUKON MIN ABEL W HALA2 3M YGHOUDROUKON 3N JDID …
    12, YOU PICK ; SHIAA STATE YA PROUND TO BE LF OR AL QAEDA KINGDOM? SO THEY WILL BLOW YOUR ASS DAILY? SUICIDE BOMBER (BLOWING UP ACHRAFIYEH DAILY OR FAITHFULL SHIAA)? EX ,3YN 3ALI2
    13,PROUND HISTORY VS SHAMEFUL ONE.
    14,ME AND MY COUSIN VS THE FOREIGNERS, NOT ME AND MY BROTHER AGAISNT EACHOTHER…..

    PROUND DONT BE MAD , UNFORTUNATELY YOUR 7OULAFE2 SCREWED YOU OVER AGAIN , AND MOST OF MY PREDECTIONS WERE RIGHT THIS TIME , LET ME ASK YOU THIS ; WHERE ARE YOU GOING? KSA ELIMINATED YOU SINCE DAY ONE !!!! YOU ARE NO LONGER REPRESENT ANY VALUE ! NO NEED TO REPEAT OURSELVES ,BUT THIS TIME THE MEDIA IS AGAISNT YOU ; LAWSUIT!!!!!!!?????? SHAME ON YOU DR SAMIR AND ALLIES FOR ALLOWING SUCH AN INCIDENT LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN ! HEY , CAN YOU IMAGINE A LAWSUIT AGAINST BERRI ,AOUN OR NASSRALAH? WHO DARE’S?

    IN CASE OF 7AKIM PLEAD GUILTY , IS HE GOING TO JAIL AGAIN?? WLEK ANA MICH OUWATJE BASS WALLA CHI BIZ3IL :( , CHU ? WAYNO SAAD W WALID MIN HAL MASSKHARA? ANAYWAY WALID MA3 AL WA2IF DEYMAN :p W SAAD MITEL MA BADA AL MAMA KSA ;)…..

    TAKE A DEEP LOOK AT THESE NAMES;
    SAAD,WALID,SAMIR: AMATEUR,CLOWN,LOSER.
    NABIH,GMA,MURR;
    PRESIDENT,HERO,SMART.

    IN CONCLUSION , SNOW IS MELTING SO FAST AND DECEPTIONS TAKING PLACE IN BETWEEN AL AKTARIYE (CHEK BERRI’S SPEECH TODAY) , GOOD LUCK GUYS W MATINSSO TOTLA3O TIBKO LAL BATRAK ;)..
    GMA LONG LIVING SIR ,PRESIDENT AT ALL TIMES,THE BLOOD IN OUR VEINS IS OUR GIFT FOR YOU…BLESS YOU YA RABBBB.

  • 15. N10452 | March 20th, 2007 at 10:22 pm

    DJUAN,
    You are proving again along with other FPMers to be disrespectful and insulting to the individuals not to the LF ..

    Control your hatred and show us how educated you are, because thugs dont post like you do.

    Is that what your hero taught you ?? i doubt it ..

  • 16. John | March 20th, 2007 at 11:02 pm

    Ya Djuan, i think you should know that public opinion changes daily, and believe me, the wind of change is not in ur favour! Fine, you guys got 70% of the Christian votes, but that was a long time ago. Hakim was still in jail and you should remember that. Why dont you guys at least go for elections in the Metn Area in the place of Sheikh Pierre?! I really wonder why!
    You say that you are educated, yet you see it normal to block roads and burn tires and block neutral ppl from going on with their life. Lebanon not Israel! Okay, i’m not even gona comment on that. Heroism not Losers, thats the funniest joke ive heard today! I wonder who was the general that never ever won a sinlge war, or even battle, during his career, not to mention how he ran away when his men needed him most.

  • 17. John | March 20th, 2007 at 11:07 pm

    Please ya Don Juan tell me how our allies screwed us over? However much they screwed us over, it would NEVER be as much as Aoun screwed up the Christians, in the past and today. Hizballa is using u guys to the max, i mean you guys gave them the Christian cover they oh soo needed! Nabih Berry a hero? Murr Smart?!?! These two guys are the most corrupt people in the world, but i guess your short selective memory beat you on that.
    At the end we might go up to the Batrak to cry to him, at least we wont go up to him and force him to kiss the picture of GMA and break everything around him.

  • 18. DJUAN | March 20th, 2007 at 11:15 pm

    I learned from 7akim ; NI7NA MICH ZO3RAN BASS KAMENA MICH TLEZMIZ BESANCON ;)…

    10452 ; I wasn’t addressing or pointing fingers agaisnt you (14th of march) ,but i am describing the situation from my own POOR theory .
    You didnt have to jump to your IQ level by calling me thug ! I am not going to call you any names,but remember your dude OTHELO and his post .

    Cheers and a brotherly advice, do not take anything personnel (ila iza fi ta7et batak mssale w 3m tira3k ) se3ita bitkoun inta wa7ad min hal ness li ana 3m wajehlon al 7ake! Are you ? Maybe not you ,but your hero is…..;)

    Thank you ISTEZ for letting me post in here.

  • 19. John | March 20th, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    You guys should know one thing:
    No unity among Christians—>No National Unity.
    Once the above statement gets in all your thick heads, things will start to change (hopefully) for the better. Keep on repeating the statement till it dwells deep in your subconscious. Only till then, will Lebanon get back on its feet.

  • 20. N10452 | March 21st, 2007 at 12:01 am

    Djuan, you are again calling people names and insulting the individuals instead of replying politically …

    I already posted about replying in a respectful manner, political satire is acceptable but not comments such as urs and others that only irritate the members and causes insults ..

    keep it respectful and no one will come near you, this post is a political satire, laugh or critisize it, or write like it .. i dont mind

    “didnt have to jummp to your iq” .. that is personal ..

    Cheers mate.

  • 21. S.M.S. | March 21st, 2007 at 12:32 am

    So Aoun supporters believe in God not individuals unlike others, loooooooool. I read that at work and it made me laugh out loud, loooool again.
    It seems we forget the damage that was done to Bkerki, we forget signs such “And on the eighth day…”, the fake priest, the man kneeling in front of aoun kissing his hands, ordering the Batrak to kiss the picture of Aoun, insulting the Batrak (an esteemed Cardinal not to mention the highest representative of Maronites)because he doesn’t support Aoun…
    And what about
    “Lebanon not Israel”, So not supporting Aoun makes you a supporter of Israel now…. You know to actually attempt to debate this point will make it worthy, but it’s not, it’s hilarious though.
    Thank you though in your attempt to answer the article by Othelo, you have provided us with a funnier post, but that was not the intent with which it was written.
    Gee that was a long comment, sorry :).. I have nothing more to say on the subject.

  • 22. 3awne ma7et | March 21st, 2007 at 1:04 am

    wlek all lebnen general w bass.AL 7AKIM AL

  • 23. proud 2 b lf | March 21st, 2007 at 6:05 pm

    djuan …. lol …. bi maketeb l fpm bi 3almoukon l te3sib wel 3ayit???? ya3ne ana ma b7ayete bikoun 2ele jlede 2ektoub shi hal2add tawil 2ella iza bkoun b3assab men l 7a2i2a w badde fsh khel2e….ma3le lol rawwe2a shwaii okk ?
    iza 3\4 leh l tor2at ma tsakkaro????? w hal mouharrij tole3 tene nhar ba3ed ma seher layele yrakkib souwar 3a ba3da…..3atou l souwar w 7attou 3al manar…lol lol lollolol….ya zalame 2enno ma32oul 7adan 3eref l shaghle 2enno tezwir w bya3mela??? 2aw wait yemken tda77ako 3ale jame3et l manar…lololol shou hal2add ghashim???lol ow wait yemken GHADAROU lolooooool…….thank you ….and i think what i wrote is 100% and not made up stories like u write every time…
    P.S. u spell proud like thies: proud and not pround okk? ya msa22af!!! ya taleb jem3a!!! lol so sad man lololol …
    salem l masi7 lal 3oniyye w l 2ouwwatjiyye w ana akid msh kell l 3oniye metel djuan lolololol and 3on lolololol thank u people

  • 24. DJUAN | March 22nd, 2007 at 12:25 am

    PROUD ; badak yene raje3 my comments kamen ? yalla chu ra2yak adile chi 30 mn 3m biktob comments w RAJI3ON kaman?:P ..loooool
    lek 10452 iztezak mich izteze ya chrik , I dont care chu bya3tine grade A+ walla D …
    I post here coz i find it fun …ila iza badak yene 7ot finjen ahwe w sigara se3ita meet me on the orange room …w inta kiff ilak 3yn ti7ke?! PER YOU ; spell proud like thies: proud and not pround okk? ya msa22af!!! ya taleb jem3a!!! lol so sad man lololol :P :P ya chrik hiye THIS NOT thies ila iza assadet thies as family name? akid al 3wniye mich mitle , I SUPPORT AOUN ,I AM NOT A MEMBER ! YOU GOT IT? ana ma 3inde al mou2hilet la i7ke 3n al 3wniye ….this is my own theory ya chrik! fhimet?

    S.M.S ; anything new? your comment is very old ….stay happy and have fun dude …i hope u can understand arabic; LI BYID7AK BIL AWAL BYIBKE BIL EKHIR ,MAZBUT? W INTO KIL 3MORKON TIB7O W RA7 TDALO TIBKO W LAL BATRAK MA TIZ3L , LA3YOUNAK YA CHRIKKK..:p

    CHEEEERRRSSS MATEEEE…

  • 25. S.M.S. | March 22nd, 2007 at 10:10 pm

    Hey DJUAN, you sound like a female with a bad case of PMS, but I did not jump to this conclusion, I am female dude. Very old yet you had to respond to it.
    Yes I understand Arabic, why did you think I only speak hebrew :P??? lol since we are loyal to Israel. Due to the situation in Lebanon, we should all be crying dude and if Hizballah got his wish, you should be crying too not only us . It isn’t a funny situation even if your responses are.
    Cheers matey…

  • 26. S.M.S. | March 22nd, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    BTW I am glad you keep posting, because I am studying psychology and some of your responses are interesting though mostly predictable. Yes keep posting :)…

  • 27. dan | March 24th, 2007 at 2:22 am

    Djuan inta btifham ana akid bass marat bta3mel mitel generalak , btihbila leh ya chrik bta3mel hek? by the way chaklak 3wne adim ktir w inta yalli byinkhaf minon mich the new generations ! have you been in the army?? 7akim w bass …

  • 28. dady | June 15th, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    lahazto shi : bass yehko el 3awnieh ?
    stahlet shi marra isma3 manti’ !!

    ” WAMA JADALTOU JAHILAN ILLA WA GHALABANI “

  • 29. Moukawém masi7é | July 17th, 2007 at 2:27 am

    Badé es2alak sou2al wahad ya Djuan
    _kif elak 3ayne tethelaf ma3 halife l kawmé l souré?
    W yali bado yharir palastin men leb w ma tensa eno l falastiné asés l bala kello.
    _kif elak 3ayne thot idak bi id yali ma 3am yeftah l mjlis ta yentekhbo neyib mahal cheikh pierre.
    _kif elak 3eyn t2oul :
    ( berré,aoun,murr )
    ma henné 3 bala wafa.
    Bas nehna we sayd :
    (alla , lwatan ,l3ayleh )
    _badé elak eno nehna ma mnez3al menkoune 3ala ad ma mnenohir 3laykoun cz mr.Hassounti 3am yedahak 3laykoun. Kamén ma mnez3al men gma cz loved the kersé bas bez3al 3al taresh yali meshyin wara. lol

  • 30. hiutopor | September 18th, 2007 at 6:19 am

    Hi

    Very interesting information! Thanks!

    Bye

  • 31. Gone | January 6th, 2008 at 7:44 am

    Guys

    I left the country because of the doctor and the general..
    When you will all understand that this childish standoff will lead nowhere except war! what we have now?
    - People who can afford it are leaving the country (I did it 2 years ago to Canada, we still need to color the maple leaf with green and brown, leave the stripes..)
    - The presidency is now a shame
    - Christians are divided and are steered by Muslims on both sides
    - Leaders worldwide changed 10s of times, while we are sticking to our same idols that are inheriting their power or loosing it to their relatives (daughters husbands!), drivers, body guards..etc.. ! common! we are leaders everywhere in the world, how come we do not or we cannot get new ones every while?
    -…

    I look how pitty we lebanese are, our country is so politicized and polarized like nowhere in the world! nobody is working.. all that people are doing is talking politics! the one who are left will pay deerfully for that..

    Before I left the country, I looked into its past to see my future.. And all what I saw you already know..

    I started to beleive that we are a cursed people.. no wonder why we are dispersed around the world.. and always dreaming of coming back.. coming back only to see this piece of land.. the oak tree.. the house on top of the hill where we used to live.. and get back to our normal foreign life..

    Now the same struggle is repeated.. it was in the 70s, 80s, 90s.. a new war is blinking on the horizon..

    I am proud of Lebanon in the 60s.. but not in the 2Ks..
    Shame on us.. we couldn’t even preserve this piece of land to be proud of..
    Gone..



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