“It says, ‘One Dollar.’”

“No!” Mr. Ibrahim boomed. He held the dollar up in front of my face. “It says, ‘In … God … We … Trust’!”

“In God we trust,” I repeated, not sure what the point was.

“That’s why your country is great: Because you trust in God.” Mr. Ibrahim magnanimously handed me the dollar bill. “You keep this,” he said. ” [..]

“There were 180 Lebanese on the Titanic!” I stared at Mr. Ibrahim, momentarily speechless. Since it looked as if his grin might return, I decided to play along. “Really?” I said, completely oblivious to how this factoid could have any relevance. “There were 180 Lebanese on the Titanic?”“Of course! They were all rich men, businessmen. Like Europeans. Do you think they would let terrorists onto the Titanic?” […..}

Mr. Ibrahim grinned thoughtfully and stroked his goatee. “Why do you support Israel when you ignore Lebanon?” he said. “Are we not as good at business as them? Are we not more fashionable? Do we not love America also? So why do you give them a billion dollars while we are being invaded by Syrians, who hate America and smell like dogs?” […]

”When Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait, you bombed Baghdad!” he yelled. “So why not bomb Damascus now?” […]

“Yes, the Shi’ites are good people. But they don’t like sin, so sometimes they stay to themselves.”

“So does that mean you’re a sinner?”