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Hezbollah Entrance Examination

Posted by N10452

From the one and only NAYCOLA ..

Hizballah Entrance Examination

Please answer the following divine question with Ashraf fannass honesty.

MULTIPLE CHOICE

In military terms a Divine Victory is one in which:-You lose all of the South up until the Litani river and The Beloved Sayyid is expected to remain hidden underground for another 128 years.
-You fire 4000 rockets into Israel and only About 12 of them hit any kind of man made structure.
-You claim that only 35.24 Fighters lost their lives and yet 688 pairs of yellow she77ata Abu Isba3s are still missing their owners.
-You were able to continue firing rockets even while every home in south Lebanon was turned to rubble.
-Fida Ijro la Sayyid, whatever he says is ok with you.

You are faced with an advancing Israeli Army, what do you do?

-Fire a Katyusha at them and then find a house full of kids and hide in it
-Fire a Katyusha and find a pregnant woman to hug for a few hours
-Wish you would have taken that job camping in martyrs square
-Cry out ALLAH U AKBAR and pull the red cord on your new vest
-Call up the Sayyid and tell him his plan for Israel to invade Lebanon worked


If you had to choose between giving up your weapons and keeping them you would most likely……
-Keep them because the Government is weak and the Shia’s need protection from Saad Hariri
-Keep them because the government is Illegal and your weapons are divine
-Keep them only until Moishe Weinstein stops occupying your uncle Badri’s parking spot in seattle.
-Give them up once the coup d’etat of Lebanon is complete and the Sayyid’s umma has been established
-Keep them and threaten to behead anyone who tries to disarm you

Which is NOT a form of legal democratic expression
-Firing rockets into Israel
-Threatening to break the hand and behead anyone who tries to disarm you
-Establishing an independent ministate in south Lebanon
-Kidnapping western hostages
-Hiding loads of small arms and rockets in trucks carrying hay.

You signed the Memorandum of Understanding strictly because
-Aoun begged the Sayyid to make him president
-You needed a Christian cover for your coup
-Aoun begged the Sayyid to make him president
-You needed a Christian cover for your coup
-Aoun begged the sayyid to make him president


Filed under: Humor, Lebanon, Political
Posted by N10452 on 03.24.07 @ 4:34 pm |

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10 Comments. Add your own...

  • 1. Mohammad | March 24th, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    Maybe we can add another question with multiple choice answers:
    Q: If you had to choose between Erasing Israel from map or giving the Palestinian 50% of the land..
    Answers:
    a- Do not prefer to erase Israel because with whom we are going to fight after that!
    b- Palestinians should not have any land because we will lose all palestinians living in lebanon.
    c- Israel should live and occupy other Lebanese cities in order to keep our weapons.
    d- All of the above
    The smartest candidate will choose answer (d) and will be the most lucky candidate to be assigned as the CEO of the stategic planning department in HA.

  • 2. eRamzi | March 24th, 2007 at 9:00 pm

    The last question is kinda tricky, good thing they narrow down the possibilities :P

  • 3. DJUAN | March 25th, 2007 at 9:27 am

    AOUN AND SAYID ; bi3younak (ik) ya naycola , the ISRAELI war strategy FAILED , and you have to live with it bitcheesszz!!!
    Go resistance , thank you for sending these pigs back to the palestinian territory . Next time back to RUSSIA :P where they really belong , poor pathetic pigs (zionist) not jews . Next time bring MOSES with you maybe you’ll do better , damn zionist, JESUS KILLERS . RESISTANCE YOU ROCK !

    10452; what kind of post is this!

  • 4. DJUAN | March 25th, 2007 at 9:32 am

    Another dream failed :P ! All the illegal DREAMS ARE GOING down !

  • 5. rachelle | March 25th, 2007 at 11:55 am

    i wonder .. djuan .. did aoun’s biggest dream of becoming president( la sama7 allah) worked? as u said all the illegal dreams are going down:)

  • 6. DJUAN | March 27th, 2007 at 6:39 am

    Rachelle ; processing Baabda.
    But where is bashir’s dream? GEEE way so far from reality ya rachelle …. 3IMAD W BASS BANOUT ;)..

  • 7. proud 2 b lf | March 27th, 2007 at 7:59 am

    djuan u idiot……u were against the weapons when 3on was in france and now ur with the weapons only for the kirsy??? and y r zionist must be send to russia????communists (HA) must be send to russia with their iranian friends…since they r playing a russian game..lol ur really not educated..

  • 8. DJUAN | March 28th, 2007 at 1:49 am

    proud ; You are funny :P…min ma3 al weapons????Show me (proof)… ba3den leh 3ssebet 3la ossit al ZIONIST? simply chrik ma 7adan men3k min inak trou7 t3ich bi israel !!! fi ktir lebneniye honik w 3l arja7 BYI2RABOUK kaman, wlek rou7 al 3dra t7mik …..
    ba3den check history ,hayde iza 2re history min abel..w chuf min when ijo the jews !
    SIR PROUD, FIRST WAVE OF IMMIGRANTS WERE FROM WEST RUSSIAN .
    HA belong in here and the jews belong somewhere else, FOR FACT. chu bek?
    Since you are planning on sending HA to russian , why dont you and your allies go to usa ??!! WE7YETAK YA PROUD INO MA BIVAYZOULAK ! w israel ma bta3tik jinssiye w bitdalak second class citizen ,rou7 chuf al libneniye honik kiff 3ychin mitel al kleb , unless you know that ;)>>>>>>>
    Who’s the uneducated idiot now?
    thank you proud ,next time be polite chuway and mich 3m sibbak wla sabaytak min abel..have some self respect …

  • 9. rachelle | March 28th, 2007 at 6:18 pm

    DJUAN MA RA7 RED 3LEK LA2N … MA FIK T2ARIN 7ELEM BACHIR GEMAYEL YELE HOWE LEBNEN W BINE2 WATAN B KEL MA3NA EL KELME B 7ELEM GMA EL SAKHIF ENO YETLA3 RA2IS JOUMHOURIEH … WHICH IS SOMETHING SO SELFISH W AKID MOUDER BEL WATAN :p

  • 10. proud 2 b lf | March 29th, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    djuan….ya 7abibe iza HA 3ala russia w ne7na 3ala usa ya3ne 2ento 3ala france…oh no wait ur against france now……oh now i get it SYRIA!!!!and check history again…….jews where there before the arabs!!!!!!!



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