[Scene: Aounist bathroom. Aounist leathers his beard and lifts the
shaving razor to his face]

Aounist: Another day, another demo, Figaro Si, Figaro La, [whistle]
Mirror: Up and early today?
Aounist: Huh? You talk?
Mirror: You talk, I talk, you is me.
Aounist: What?
Mirror: What what?

[Aounist tilts his head to the right; mirror tilts its head to his left.]

Aounist: Are you mocking me?
Mirror: Now, why would I mock you?
Aounist: Whatever I do, you do the opposite.
Mirror: Can’t help laws of physics, it’s all in the optics, you see..

[Aounist scratches his head with his right hand; Mirror images scratches
its hand with the left hand. Aounist jumps up; Mirror image jumps up.]

Aounist: That’s funny.
Mirror: What’s funny?
Aounist: Don’t you get tired of mocking me?
Mirror: Do you get tired of mocking yourself?
Aounist: Do you have to repeat everything I repeat?
Mirror: Can’t help it, I am a mirror.
Aounist: But you are not repeating everything.
Mirror: I am repeating what you don’t hear yourself say.
Aounist: Like what?
Mirror: Like why are you shaving?
Aounist: If I don’t shave, my beard will grow long.
Mirror: See, you evaded the question.
Aounist: No, I answered the question..
Mirror: Literally.. what are you going to do *after* you shave?
Aounist: Go to the demo.
Mirror: Why?
Aounist: To protest.
Mirror: Protest what?
Aounist: Protest.. humph.. protest!

[Aounist looks up.. seeking inspiration]

Aounist: Yes, protest until we are invited to join the government.
Mirror: But you were invited to join the government, you refused.
Aounist: We were?
Mirror: Yes.
Aounist: Prove it!
Mirror: Sigh.. Suppose you join the government what would you then do.
Aounist: Audit!
Mirror: And then?
Aounist: Put the crooks in jail!
Mirror: And if the crooks are the entire political class?
Aounist: Let the chips fall where they may..
Mirror: How does that make Lebanon any better?
Aounist: Crooks like Siniora will be replaced by honest politicians.
Mirror: Like who?
Aounist: Who?
Mirror: Yes, who?
Aounist: Like.. like..
Mirror: Let me help you, Aoun?
Aounist: What’s wrong with Aoun?
Mirror: Nothing, if you don’t mind backstabbing, sleeping with the enemy,
Sectarianism,..
Aounist: What? You’re out of your mind..
Mirror: I am you.
Aounist: Nonsense.. it says right here “Made in the U.S.A.”

[Aounist points to a label stuck on the mirror]

Mirror: And your hero, not?
Aounist: That was different. He visited USA when Lebanon was under
occupation. Now there is no more occupation. Syria is a friend. USA is
an enemy.
Mirror: Do you really believe this B.S.?
Aounist: Are you saying there is occupation now?
Mirror: Yes.
Aounist: Prove it!
Mirror: Where did the missiles come from?
Aounist: Black market.
Mirror: Money?
Aounist: Network of benefactors around the world.
Mirror: Killings?
Aounist: Israeli plot to make the Syrians look bad.
Mirror: I rest my case.
Aounist: You proved nothing.
Mirror: Not to your shaved face, but to the real you behind the face.
Aounist: Nonsense..
Mirror: Oh yeah? Why do you hate Siniora?

[Aounist scratches his head]

Aounist: Siniora is a thief.
Mirror: By what law? What court?
Aounist: He was accused..
Mirror: And the charges dropped..
Aounist: There is no smoke without a fire.
Mirror: Didn’t you say that there was occupation?
Aounist: So?
Mirror: Is it possible that the charges were politically motivated?
Aounist: Prove it!
Mirror: Sigh.. why do you really hate him?
Aounist: I don’t hate him.. I just want him punished.
Mirror: Punished for what?
Aounist: Punished for stealing people’s money.
Mirror: There is no such proven charge.
Aounist: So why is he afraid of an audit?
Mirror: He’s not.. his cabinet sent a proposed law to the parliament
to enact an audit that goes back to 1990.
Aounist: Whitewash, they will hire auditors on their payroll.
Mirror: Auditors can be vetted with public scrutiny.
Aounist: They OWN the media.
Mirror: Everybody who’s anybody in Lebanon owns media.
Aounist: Political money owns media.. clean money doesn’t own media.
Mirror: Define clean.

[Aounist scratches his head again]

Aounist: Clean money is money not obtained by theft.
Mirror: So if Iran gives you money and missiles.. and 1200 people die. Is
this clean money?
Aounist: This money is given without political conditions.
Mirror: Sigh.. Why do you really hate Siniora?
Aounist: I told you already.. he’s a thief.
Mirror: So a thief who is not Muslim Suni is not a thief?
Aounist: I didn’t say that!
Mirror: Is Suleiman Franjieh a thief?
Aounist: An audit will show if he is.
Mirror: So why are you ready to call Siniora a thief before an audit and
Franjieh only after an audit?
Aounist: Siniora was in government for 16 years!
Mirror: a) 16 years is a lie.. do the math.. b) Franjieh and or his
political allies has been in government for the same time.
Aounist: Prove it!
Mirror: How about Michel Murr? Aoun’s right hand man. Where did he get
his fortune?
Aounist: Prove it!
Mirror: Hizbollah’s money?
Aounist: Prove it!
Mirror: Sigh.. you beard is shaved.. you’re almost late for the demo.
Where will the demo be today?
Aounist: I will find out soon..
Mirror: Who decides?
Aounist: The opposition leadership.
Mirror: Sigh..

[Aounist.. washes his face.. towels it.. continues whistling..]

– Fin –