Aoun at The Ouwet Front: A Lebanese Forces Blog

Aoun

Posted by N10452

General Aoun. Saying his name alone invokes emotional trips ranging from adoration and respect to intense hatred and disgust. I hate to say it (well… no, not really), but I swing more toward the latter side of the spectrum. And who do I happen to be? Why, it’s that crazy Cousin from America, back again to fill your precious heads with opinions more valuable than your own.

Let me just say this first and foremost: I am not a history buff (as if you couldn’t tell), so don’t expect me to give a shit about tiny little details from 30 years ago. That was then, but this is now. Quit living in the past and using it as an excuse to justify your lame political posturing.

Ahem.

On with the show. Really, I’m here to explain to you why I just don’t like Aoun. In reality, I don’t give much of a crap about anyone in Lebanese politics. They’re all running jokes of themselves, but some are worse than others. There’s Aoun, Geagea, Jumblat, Frangiyeh (but this asswipe hardly counts), Gemayel, and probably Hariri, too. But we’re here to talk about Aoun.

1. Political Stances
Who does Aoun throw his support behind? Really, he just says to any given oppressed minority group on any given day, “You people deserve a representative in the government, because I won’t stand for anyone mistreating you any longer!” He kisses their asses. He gains their trust through sucking up, and who are they to say no?

When he’s not giving false support to random groups he doesn’t really care about (I think it’s more to make his opponents look bad than anything else), he sides with the enemy. I know we’ve been over this, but once again: he supports Hezbollah as a group of Lebanese citizens, even though Hezbollah get their arms from our two greatest enemies (no, not the US and Israel, you damn whiners), Syria and Iran. Look, I don’t even care if he doesn’t support Syria or he says he doesn’t support Syria (weren’t they the ones that banished him in the first place?), but the fact that he can throw his weight behind a group that gets their arms from them says a lot. And as well all know, there are few major Middle Eastern countries that don’t annoyingly dedicate their existence to taking down “the Zionist threat.”

2. Class

Aoun is a man who has absolutely zero class. I’m not referring to the Caste System of the old days. I’m talking about his presence and demeanor in public. Before he goes into press conferences, the idiot puts his hands up in that completely retarded “double check mark” thing that he does. What idiot does that and thinks he looks cool? The only person who can get away with that sort of thing is Richard Nixon, and that’s only because he did it in a country where giving a double peace sign essentially meant giving everyone the finger. If you’re not going to be classy, then go all the way like Nixon instead of looking like a regular idiot and waving your check-marked fingers around.

Stupid hand gestures aside, he also has no class because of how he reacts in interviews. For God’s sake, the man flips out into a screaming match over any simple question. He starts pissing and moaning about nothing in particular, disrespecting both the person who asked the question and the audience. Hey Aoun, only Janet Reno can get away with that sort of thing, and as much as I don’t like her, she at least made some decent points every now and then. You’re just a bitter old man who got screwed over in the past, yet feels like taking it out on us, the public. Kindly knock it off. If Geagea, who suffered way more than you when the banishments came, can stand tall and speak eloquently, then so can you. Grow up.

3. Sloganeering

I’ve already touched on the idiocy of making a double check mark, so there’s not much else to say. I mean, you look like an idiot. The subject is closed.

Lebanese politicians these days have an annoying tendency to pick colors to represent themselves, yet none are as prevalent as Aoun is with his goddamn orange bile covering the entirety of anything talking about him. Seriously, man, calm the hell down. Orange is not a pleasant color, unless it’s burnt orange. You just have plain orange, which just gets annoying to look at after the first 50 times. Can’t we listen to you complain without having a background that looks like somebody threw up a liter of Miranda all over it? If you use a color and a cute little hand gesture to define who you are, then you deserve to be made fun of.

If that weren’t bad enough, you have retailers making things with their own special brand of Aounie goodness: orange everywhere! Orange towels for the Aounie who likes to go swimming. Orange food containers for the Aounie who likes to keep his oranges fresh. One amusing product I saw was a Cascade water bottle with orange trim surrounding it. Cascade, here in America, is a dish-washing liquid. Considering one Cascade is supposed to be pure and refreshing and the other is used to clean dirt and grime, I don’t see the attachment to Aoun. When a man picked it off the ground and threw it away, my cousin (your very own N10452) said, “Ah, right where it belongs.”

4. The Fans

Aoun does not have supporters, he has fans. And these people are among the most annoying human beings you’ll ever meet. Their loyalty to Aoun is so glaringly misplaced, too. Listen to them tell stories about Aoun, and he appears to be nothing short of a god. The embellishments are so obvious that I can’t wait for a “Super Aoun” comic book to come out. “And then, Aoun swooped down just in time to rescue the children from the evil Geagea’s wrath! The day was saved, once again, thanks to Super Aoun!” Seriously, his fanclub has some of the most unbelievable biases I’ve ever heard in my life.

Not only do they believe in their beloved general no matter what, but they don’t really listen to logic all that much. I can’t remember how many times I’ve used the “Aoun -> Hezbollah -> Syria and Iran” thing, yet they still try to reason with it. There is no reasoning, and I’m not just saying that because I’m naturally always right. I’m saying that because even a brain-damaged 8-year-old will be able to say, “Yeah, this doesn’t make all that much sense.” To have such a blind loyalty to one cause without seeing any of the faults that are scattered like so many Aoun posters on the streets of an Ouwet village is to just be willfully ignorant. I don’t think I have met one non-radical Aounie. In fact, I hope he wins the presidency one day, just so he can ruin the country even more. His fans will wake up and say, “Jesus Christ, this guy really does suck! What were we thinking?” And remember, they’re fans, not supporters.

Well, I think that about covers it for today. I didn’t go terribly in-depth, but I figured that going too political would just make this damn thing 10 pages long. I think I managed to hit the major points with some small examples for each one, so hopefully you finished reading this with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. So, until the next time I’m asked to write something, this is Cousin, signing out.

Filed under: Contributors, Critiques, Lebanon, Political
Posted by N10452 on 08.25.07 @ 5:51 pm |

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31 Comments. Add your own...

1. John | August 25th, 2007 at 7:44 pm

Another display of your impotence? You guys should stop bashing this guy and do soemthing about it!
2. Johnny.B | August 25th, 2007 at 7:49 pm

John,

the pen is the most powerfull weapon. enno what do expect us to do? nrou7 no3tosem bill rabieh? like his people are doing in centre ville ?
3. paul | August 25th, 2007 at 8:11 pm

la2 jhonny.B fi tari2a aktar 7adara ,mitil 7ar2 dwelib masalan!
4. Shadow | August 26th, 2007 at 8:04 am

Guys,

Please check the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEZlG8UBQ7o

Really amazing. This was done by one of Tayyar mustakbal.
5. John | August 26th, 2007 at 8:36 am

They make your songs for you as well?! I thought it was only your decisions! You guys are so lucky!
6. Shadow | August 26th, 2007 at 10:03 am

Your Feeling jealous Mr john , dont act like a loser.

Anyone who understand our cause , will make songs for us because he beleives in Lebanese Forces.

Dont worry bokra houlafe2kom will do some holly songs in iranian language for the tayyar and orange .
7. John | August 26th, 2007 at 10:34 am

“Your Feeling jealous Mr john. Dont worry bokra houlafe2kom will do some holly songs in iranian language for the tayyar and orange”

Hahahaa! I am actualy… Can you imagine how funny that sh** would be?

Now seriously, the wahhabies “understand your cause” AND “believe in the Lebanese Forces”! Is that the joke of the day?

By the way you guys should have a joke of the day section. Pics of the General cursing the rats in his garden don’t count…
8. Mohammad | August 26th, 2007 at 11:35 am

John,

Mesh ma32ool el 2aher wl 7asad. How jealousy is destroying your mentality!

As Shadow told you, tomorrow Hizballa will make a song to you using Katyosha + RBG with a SLOGAN “ALA IN AL FPM HOMO AL GHALEBOON”

Finaly, Tolo3 ma3ak inno FM hene wahhabies!!!!! 38 MPs representing wahabbis!!!! now I am convinced why FPMers are failing to pass a university course called “LOGIC”.
9. paul | August 26th, 2007 at 12:09 pm

HAHA wara2it tafehom bein FC Rabieh and 7ammisit l2ouze3e.
10. SONIA | August 27th, 2007 at 6:36 am

Hi cousin of N…Very reasoned and articulate.

Unfotrunately,there are none so deaf as those who do not want to hear.

All right thinking ex Lebanese should be thinking about what they can do to help a country in the process of being taken over by a bunch of death loving crazies.
Give people an altrnative to Hizbullah. An organisation in the U.S.A. or wherever to help people get out of poverty with scholarships,loans,all the usual methods. Many Lebanese are pragmatic. They will support those who are good to them.
11. Ali 1559 | August 27th, 2007 at 6:18 pm

Sonia

A alot of folks here have a very pedestrian understanding of zionism and the israeli threat ! Most lebanese don’t realize we are in a war of survival . Sooner or latter , 14th of march will have to deal with this issue (how to survive the israeli barbaric wars once every decade )-define it, codify it , criminalize it . Did you know that your government has violated the 1701 resolution 940 times at leat (airplane)! Did you also know that the inoccent casualties are high in numbers because of your left behind cluster bombs ? Here is my question for you : Does this situation allow HEZEB-ALLAH to take action by waging a fanatic war on you (like yours last summer)? Hopefully not cuz intelligence is the key to fight terrorism (As you call them) . And education warfare is our key to victory . Ya sonia lebanese people are pragmatic and this is why a lot of them are standing behind our free patriotic movement (fpm ) for a better educated lebanon .

No war was ever won when allies are trying to cut their own deals with the enemy . WE (you and us ) must learn the historical lessons of wars! Leave us alone and lebanon will prosper ! How good it is to see the truth being published ? Who was behind the creation of HEZB-ALLAH in lebanon?

Thank you for your time.
12. Ali 1559 | August 27th, 2007 at 6:22 pm

Sonia

You work for the long run when we work on our daily basis . Good for you .
13. mikel | August 28th, 2007 at 1:47 am

3ale

You’re blaming them for the war!

1st of all you started it ( and don’t give me thet crap about them already planning a war, it’s obvious they weren’t prepared)

2- people who live in glass houses shouldn;t throw stones (the whole civilian killig every 10 years…)

3- you started the war.

4- you caused the major destruction, cz everytime you would launch a missile, they would REACT by destroying half of da7ye.

5- YOU STARTED THE f l_l ( l
14. mikel | August 28th, 2007 at 1:48 am

* YOU STARTED THE F l_l ( l
15. mikel | August 28th, 2007 at 1:49 am

nevermind
16. Ali 1559 | August 28th, 2007 at 4:23 am

Mikel

Im so disappointed at you w bade i7kik bil 3rabe heke Sonia ma btifham 3layna :

Ya chrike bil watan, ana kinet 3m waji7 comment WATANE la sonia la aktar wla 2a2l ! Btije inta btred bi heke tari2 welediye ? Yalla , again,practice makes perfect ya mikel as long you are learning im happy . Ana natera la tred iza 3inda room tred anyway !

PS : ana w khaye 3la iben 3me w ana w iben 3me 3l gharib ya mikel !
17. Delta | August 28th, 2007 at 10:22 am

ali ya living in the usa ya doc inta man i am disappointed with you man hayde 1

anna wibne 3ame ???????????
min all inak ibn 3amna la mna3rfak walla bta3refna man nihna ma3 il ha2 habibe mikel massihe w2arre ingilo wil massih el iza khayak gholtan ilo gholtan wiza 3adouwak sah ilo sah

khalas stehe wle.
18. Ali 1559 | August 28th, 2007 at 6:12 pm

Delta

Akid inta manak iben 3me wla ana iben 3mak wla bade kun ! Ana ma 3m 2ilo la Mikel ino houwe my cousin , f7am , hayde massal lebneneh la aktar wla 2a2l ya delta !

F7am al concept WLE and stop judging others for the hell of it ! Massi7e walla muslim , i dont care .

Hala2 3mol ma3rouf w jewib 3n SONIA 3la my question iza fik ! Ma ba2 tehrob min al 7a2i2 (truth) w ma ba2 tghayir al mawdou3 as well !
19. Delta | August 28th, 2007 at 6:26 pm

ya ALi she did not even ask a question ya man w3an il massal il libnene kil aste ino il massal ma byontobi2 hon hizballa are not mina wfina hizballa are draging us to the end
20. Ali 1559 | August 28th, 2007 at 9:03 pm

Delta

No prb man , Sonia did not ask any question , I did, here we go again :

How good it is to see the truth being published ? Who was behind the creation of HEZB-ALLAH in lebanon??

All clear now !
21. mikel | August 29th, 2007 at 2:09 am

Ali

Before I answer your question, I wanna tell you that jst cz we’re from the same country doesn’t mean I have to smile and agree every time you give a “tasri7 watani”.
Despite all the things that Israel did our country, you freaks have done -and are still doing- a thousand times more.

Now to your question,
I hate to teach about your own history, but HA was created right after the iranian revolution, even your flag is almost the same as their revolutionary flag.
You were founded so that the iranians can expand in the region.
You’re nothing but a tool.

And you’re gonna keep fighting, cz khomeini issued a fatwa that you must do so.
And hey if you wanna fight Israel cz of that, that’s fine, but you get ur own state and do it.
You can’t build a country of 19 religons based on a fatwa from some guy whose name I can’t even pronounce.
22. mikel | August 29th, 2007 at 4:12 am

3ale

btsiro t7ko enno 3am ntjehal tlt l lbneniyeh w ma ba3rif choo, bass ya 5ayye 2nto tjehalto kll l ba2we w ballashto 7areb, 7atta 7alifak ma ken 3erif.

Iza 2nta btkrah 2sra2il, heyde mch mchklte.

Ya 7abibe fi chi baddak tfawto b rasak:

N7NA MA BADNA N7ERIB 2SRA2IL

mch li2an 5ayfin aw li2anna 3umala 2ilon,
bass li2anna zh2na l 7arb.
5ayye 2nto 2e5ir hamkun iza thabbat baytkun, iran ma3a masare.

5ayye mazeri3 shb3a btotla3 chi inch mrabba3, soriya ba3da m7talle 177 sqm.

lesh ma bto5tfo jndiyyen sooriyyen??
Walla ma bi hemmukun hawde l asra,
bass badkun t7arriro he l mjrim samir 2ntar.

W ma fik t2elle 2enno henne keno ra7 yballsho l 7arb, ma tjarrib t2ann3ne, mn kll 3a2lak enno ana ra7 saddi2 mu5abarat l 7ezeb?!
aw t2oum tnkshle chi majale 2sra2iliyye maktub fiya chi article enno henne ra7 yhjmo.
Heyde l 7ejje ma bt2le 3ejje, ya albe.

w law keno baddun yhjmo, ana ma badde 2ella l jesh ydefi3 3anne, law d3if w ma byl2a darbe mn 2sra2il.
Ad ma ken 3ndak 5aybar w ra3d w zlzel, ma badde yyek tdefi3 3anne w trabb7ne jmile.

Finaly, yalle asid 2oolo hoowe enno l 2iyyem yalle mjburin noo2af ma3kun dod l ‘3aduw’ l 2sra2ile madat w nkadat. w l 2iyyem yalle mnloum fiya kll chi 3a 2sra2il w kll ma toli3 2nfijar mnloum 2sra2il w kll ma sar fi hazzeh ardiyyeh mnloum 2sra2il.

W manne majbour 2ou2af ma3ak dod 2sra2il mtl ma tw2a3et menne.
23. Ali 1559 | August 29th, 2007 at 8:01 am

Mikel

Slow down little fellow and listen carefully to my words :

First of all , do I look like HA fighter for you? Why are you LABELING (label) me as a HA fighter! We have been chating for the last 60 days (at least ) and all of the sudden 3MALTNE HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a waiste of time mate . Again, dont judge ppl for their names and beliefs , not all the ALI’S are HA ! Are all the toni’s SSNP?

Second, Keep it relevant .Focus on what you are arguing about . If you stray (ya3ne get lost) , the argument will resurface again till the real ISSUE is addressed.

Third, Im not trying to convince you that the israeli had a plan bla bla bla ect… No, what im saying is ; they didnt have any right to destroy our country for the sake of 2 front line soldiers ! You dont destroy a country just bcoz while your alliance(usa) was watching you getting bashed . Just face it , reality is hard .

4, You are completely wrong regarding my question , I dont wanna make you look stupid now , but you need to read history real good b4 talking about it , HA was created as a RESISTANCE AGAINST THE INVADERS (ISRAEL) back in the 1982 . This is what im traying to tell SONIA. Moussa al sader was the founder of 7ARAKAT AL MA7ROUMIN not HA ya mikel and latter on Nabih berri changet it to AMAL-MOVEMENT ! 7arakat al ma7roumin was a 100% lebanese organization w hone sma7le i7kik bil 3rabe khale kell al 3lam tifham ana chu 3m 2ouol : Khaye , Moussa al sader vanished (khtafa) 3chen ken hadafo watani (sa2l your eldest) w hayda one of his quotes : AL TA3YOUCH AL ISLAMI AL MASSI7I SARWA YAJIB AL TAMASSOK BIHA ! 3chen heke TAYARO ass7abak THE MOSSAD or yasser 3rafet!

As fo HA and the battles ect… GMA (god bless him) bil 3rabe again : LAMAN YOUR GOVERNMENT 3TITON BAYEN WIZARE LA YA3MLO LI BADON YEH KEN GMA (GOD BLESS HIM) AWAL WA7AD DOD AL BAYEN ! And till this day ba3do nattir jaweb min SANIOURA ya3ne tawdi7 bass la 7ayat liman tounadi ! Who’s the liar right there? Bta3touwon green light , then live with it!

PS : Life doesnt always give a second chance (this is what my professor always tells me ) , and you are out of luck regarding the second chance ya MIKEL! Keep dreaming buddy !
24. Ali 1559 | August 29th, 2007 at 8:05 am

Mikel

9 minutes and 15 second ! Ya3ne i hope tkun fhimet 3laye bass ma kun daya3et 9mn 3la chi fadeh …
25. Mohammad | August 29th, 2007 at 9:41 am

Aloush,

I like your sentence “GMA (god bless him)”
I think it is better to say “GOD treat him”
26. Delta | August 29th, 2007 at 7:44 pm

to ALi

the main reason of the creation of hizbulla is the LEbanese civil war its the same reason why all other militias has been fouded.
is that good enough sahbe ?

kateab was fouded due to the colonisation and started as scouts kichefe during the civil war tsalaho and became a militia.

and if u wanna be honnest and if u are trying to drag me to say because the invation of isreal thats not even true , first battels of hizbullah were against theyre fellow garbage brothers amal and also against syria. and during those war just to have fun they shelled on th christian areas of lebanon

this is my answe ya ali

salem il massih ya chabeb
27. mikel | August 30th, 2007 at 6:27 am

3ale

law msar7inlkun, 7asan nasralla bla7mo w cha7mo wa3ad 3a tawlit l 7iwar enno l seyf reyi2 w ahla bl suwe7…
wa2ta ija deadline iran bl UN darabto 7atta tb3at iran message la amerca.

5ayye ba3rif 2sra2il 2awwit l darbe zyede 3an lzum bass ken kll chi meche w ballash l balad yoo2af 3a 2jre, w faj2a shta2to 2nto la samir 2ntar.

5ayye lli thabbat bayto, l 7a2 3a 2sra2il, 3a rase.
bass lli 10000$ ta yfta7 mat3am bi beirut, he 3a min bi7ot l 7a2?
l 7arb 7arb w law ma raddit 2sra2il bi 2oowwe, keno ra7 ydallo l souwe7 ra7 yfello.

W bt23do bthaddido enno iza ma fi 7koome jdide ra7 ysir fi 7arb ahliyye!
w btsta2wo w abl noss se3a etc.
28. paul | August 30th, 2007 at 3:36 pm

walla jari2 ya 3ale!!!

btichrab bira ok.
bass kamen bti7ke ma3 yahoud?
ma tkoun 3am t2addir la reform bil7izib!!!
29. Ali 1559 | August 31st, 2007 at 8:32 am

Delta

HA ma darab 3laykon 120 ! Amal did ya not HA! 3inde short video where one of amal fighter admits ino HA darab 3la borj al barajne 120 mich 3la char2iye !

Ba3den lesh inta ma darabet your own brothers bi 7areb taw7id al boundou2iye? Rakiz ya fande ! W rji3et darabet the leb army as well? Rakiz !

Mikel

Lesh min 2lak ino kell al chiaa li ra7lon byout abado? Lesh min 2lak ino sanioura mano ma2ssar as well?

Paul

Lek I work with them I love when I boss them around !! Trust me , they are suffering mitilna mitlon . Ba3den chu ichbon al yehoud ? the prb ma3 the ZIONIST not the jews !
30. aMuMba | September 12th, 2007 at 12:04 pm

Lebanese forces
31. lebgirl | September 9th, 2008 at 11:52 pm

wow its fun to watch u guys talk like this i mean u probably have been waiting a long time for hizbullah to throw u a bone so u can bash them even if u hear the facts that it was an accident…. that well isnt the first time that happens in an army …but watever u wont listen to the facts coz ur too busy chewing ur bone so enjoy!!!!