MARCH 8 MATHEMATICS and LOGIC EXAMINATION at The Ouwet Front: A Lebanese Forces Blog

MARCH 8 MATHEMATICS and LOGIC EXAMINATION

Posted by Lebanonjon

Please circle the correct mathematical answer based on your understanding of March 8 political logic

1. Hassan has 13,000 Katyushas. He fires 4000 at Israel. He denies repeatedly that any weapons are being smuggled through Syria. In his Speech he says he now has more than 33,000 Katyushas. If Hassan is telling the divine truth then the reality is

A. Hassan has a Katyusha Factory

B. He really had 24,001 Katyushas

C. Male and Female Shiite Katyushas were induced to procreate repeatedly

D. Syria and Lebanon are part of one UMMA and hence no smuggling actually occurred

If the parliament requires a 50% + 1 to elect a president and the parliament consists of 130 Delegates, then a Simple majority would equal 65 +1.If we assume that March 14 has 68 MPs,then in order to correct this mathematical imbalance you need to..

A. Assassinate 3 March 14 MPs

B. Assassinate 2 and Intimidate 1 March 14 MP

C. Assassinate 1 and Intimidate 2 March 14 MPs

D. Close the parliament

E. All of the above

There are 100 blue marbles in the Jar.
On Monday, Michel claims he has 70% of all the blue marbles in a Jar. If Samir and Amin have 54 Marbles on Tuesday, then what has happened to Michel’s marbles.

A. Michel has definitely lost some of his Marbles

B. Michel is still the King of the Marbles

C. Michel will get angry and sound like he lost his Marbles but that is far from the truth

D. Saad must have bought the Marbles for Amin and Samir

QUALITATIVE LOGIC

Over 30 Nations support the March 14 Coalition. 2 Nations Support March 8 Coalition. The majority of the 30 Nations supporting M14 are democracies. Both the nations supporting M8 are totalitarian states. Using inference and deduction you can easily reason that

A. March 8 are fighting for their democratic right to share power

B. Amrika is the great Satan

C. Feltman is controling March 14

D. Michel didn’t lose his Marbles

E. All of the above

Hassan fires 4000 Katyushas into Israel. Israel drops 1 Million cluster bombs on Lebanon. Hassan kills 160 Israelis. Israel kills 1200 Lebanese. Lebanon loses 8 Billion Dollars. Israel loses three broken windows. Israel retains its territorial integrity. Hizbollah is pushed back 40 Kilometers from the border. By using pure divine Logic you can assume that:

A. Hizbollah has won a divine victory

B. The face of the region has been changed forever with this Divine victory.

C. The Israelis and not the Lebanese were humiliated

D. The Resistance will never surrender their Arms

E. All of the Above

In a typical government of 30 Ministers, a 2/3 majority or 20 Ministerial votes are required to take legally binding decisions. If you are the March 8 political coalition and you are requesting 11 Ministers, that is most likely because

A. You are looking to insure that this Government is not impotent

B. 11 is a prime number and indivisible like the Opposition

C. Nassrallah’s Theory of Divine Relativity defines this as “the Unifying third” or “tilt el Damen”

D. In the Syrian space time Continuum , 11 is really equal to 10 during Daylight Savings Time

E. The March 8 will only use this veto power on votes that relate to Changing the Date of Halloween

Filed under: Other
Posted by Lebanonjon on 02.01.08 @ 7:34 am |

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26 Comments. Add your own...

1. Mikel | February 1st, 2008 at 8:09 am

Lost his marbles
lmfao!!
2. Marc | February 1st, 2008 at 9:54 am

Just Excellent !!!!!
So true !!
3. micho | February 1st, 2008 at 11:44 am

ktir ktir 2aret de7ek, wat can i say pure logic hehehheheehehhe
4. Amir in Tel Aviv | February 1st, 2008 at 1:51 pm

NICE… but:
“…Both the nations supporting M8 are totalitarian states”.
Iran isn’t “a totalitarian state”. They need some improvements, but it is more democratic than most ME states.
.
5. jean | February 1st, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Love it bro…
6. joseph | February 1st, 2008 at 2:59 pm

it seems 3andak logic ma 7adan 3ando yeha bel maths!!!! good for you!!!! maybe your LF party and it’s militia will need your experience, your logic and your intelligence for their madefe3, when it will be the time to disarm hezbollah….. Oh… maybe u were already in 3ayn l remmeneh last sunday giving some advice to the snipers…….
yalla good luck!!
7. joseph | February 1st, 2008 at 3:02 pm

lek, u must be happy for what happened last sunday! enno dont take it as a shameful event…
bel 3aks u prooved u are the defenders of the char2iyye…. saro 7 bel na2es….
8. Tarek | February 1st, 2008 at 3:27 pm

Joseph,
What is funny about you is that you are mocking the lebanese forces for fighting during the civil war, when all parties were armed and when there was no army to protect the state and the rights of its citizens. However you seem very glad with Hizbulla armed militia and “mkayaf” that no one can disarm it. You quiet shocked me with your logic. I think you will pass the mathmatics and logic test for march 8 :D! Huzzah!!!
9. Tarek | February 1st, 2008 at 3:52 pm

The post is by the way is funny but it is frustrating by reminding me of how some people use their brains in Lebanon!
10. Tanzim | February 1st, 2008 at 7:16 pm

Who is the traitor who has defected from M14 to M8? I have not found the information anywhere. If someone knows can you tell traitors name, sect former M14party and the current M8 party.
11. Tanzim | February 1st, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Correction: I meant traitor MP, who has defected from M14 to M8? I have not found the information anywhere. If someone knows can you tell traitors name, sect, former M14 party and the current M8 party.
12. paul | February 1st, 2008 at 10:05 pm

from tayyar.org

أغلب الإصابات من أعلى إلى أسفل….العنوان

إنّ الرمي تمّ أفقياً أي أنّ الرامي والضحية كانا على مستوى واحد وبمعنى آخر فوهة البندقية والهدف المطلوب إصابته على المستوى نفسه. وفي حالات قليلة تمّ الرمي من الأعلى إلى الأسفل ا
can you understand this?
13. hasanov | February 1st, 2008 at 10:23 pm

badkon la sara7a….. as5af min hek 3alam 3a hek blog sa5eef ba3ed ma la2et.
keep up…. u make us laugh after a long day at work!!!!
14. joseph | February 1st, 2008 at 10:41 pm

hey tarek, u forgot something very important…. it’s the LF (with others like amal, hezbollah, ta2addoume, and many others…) yalle mana3o 2iyem dawle, men ba3ad intikheb amine ra2is lal joumhouriyye w khsousatan ba3ad ma eja GMA ra2is 7oukoume inti2aliyye and sar yalle sar…. i know there was other militias and these militias fought the lebanese army too, but their goals were not to protect the state and Lebanon like LF were saying… it’s a big difference….
w min 2al enno mkayyaf??? no man, im waiting for disarment of hezbollah, but not bel ouwwe, like others did or are till now trying to do…
PS: u cant say that hizbullah is a militia, l bayen l wizare bi oul enno hiyye mou2ewame w ento m2adsina lal 7oukoume…..
eh chou hal test dakhlak…. yghayyer mwadi3 hayda lebanonjon
15. Tanzim | February 1st, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Thank you very much paul, but I have to admit you that I do not speak Arabic and so I do not understand that.
16. Tarek | February 1st, 2008 at 11:41 pm

Joseph,
What prevented the emergence of the state is not the LF, it is the lack of agreement between the parties. With no agreement between all armed forces, a state cannot emerge!
Who is preventing the state from emerging right now!? Is it the lebanese forces or Hizbulla!?

2nd, Who said that we consider the government divine!? Hakim always said this government has many defects.

3rd Hizbulla is a militia, any armed forces whose members get paid for their duties is a militia.

4th Hizbulla is involved in most the assassination in the past three years.
17. elie | February 2nd, 2008 at 7:01 am

joseph
ya 3ayb el choum 3alek …
inno hizballah …must be disarmed…but not by force…
but the only militia who was figting syria and the phalestinians…your fagot general sent all his army to disarm it and terminate it…inno halla2 you worry about some iranian shit called hizbullah…and you didn’t care about the only true lebanese militia….you called them “zo3ran”…you hypocrites….
buz off and go to hell.
18. joseph | February 2nd, 2008 at 7:36 am

B. 11 is a prime number and indivisible like the Opposition
D. In the Syrian space time Continuum , 11 is really equal to 10 during Daylight Savings Time

Loved those 2!
19. paul | February 2nd, 2008 at 1:40 pm

. Amir in Tel Aviv

includind israel
20. Johnny.B | February 2nd, 2008 at 10:32 pm

joseph,

i just read your comments and all i can is to you is this :” til7ass tizeh “
21. PK | February 2nd, 2008 at 10:44 pm

loooool, nice one Johnny.B
22. dj00099 | February 3rd, 2008 at 4:30 am

Not that I do not respect Lebanese in Hezbollah, and I agree that it’s better if Hezbollah is disarmed peacefully (in fact everybody prefers this), but Elie (17) made a very good point and I am really sad that aounies cannot see this. “inno Hezbollah …must be disarmed…but not by force…
But the only militia who was fighting Syria and the Palestinians…your general sent all his army to disarm it and terminate it…” Khasi2a as usual. I need to clarify something also. It is true that Hezbollah is more respected because it showed more discipline than all other parties (which is good), and LF lost a lot of their supporters because of lack of discipline at the beginning, but I think this is at least in part because Hezbollah receives directives from Iranian leaders who can think clearly and put good strategies from outside the vicious circle, and also receives money in a way he does not have to ask for bread from its community. And believe me lots of person only complain of LF because they lost some bread during the war.
Very sad situation. I hope it gets better and every body that really did sacrifices gets credits and not just lose it because of some mean behavior from supporters or because of ignorance and lack of logic of non supporters.
Take care…
23. Kell shi wala GMA | February 3rd, 2008 at 7:17 am

Lebanonjon, you rock
LOOOOOL
Especially the marbles part, HEHEHEHE.
24. Michele | February 3rd, 2008 at 8:37 am

I still can’t understand and tolerate that a lebanese person, could support or even defend Hezballah… How the hell is that possible????

Just tell me ya Joseph, why GMA considered them as a terrorist organisation and yet few years later he became their best ally?
What did happen truly? Would u have an answer?

I doubt u do!!!!! U guys only follow him blindly… What a shame!
25. LF-der l a7mar | February 3rd, 2008 at 12:47 pm

hehehe nice ya Johnny.B hayde 2awiyye gd
26. DABKE LIBANIEH | February 3rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm

Hi

1- hizbulah started as a terrorist organization founded by KHOMEINY and later on supported by Syria .,
it committed many killing ( lebanese army members , christains civilians ..eyc ) suicide atacks ( USA - FRENCH /forces and Embassy .. ) and others including the killing of thousands of shiites amal ..
it also participated in the killing of the last 3 years and NOW is attacking the LA ….
Ha now is a big terrorist ARmy ..

2- HA will never DISARM peacefully .

3- their plan now is to DESTABILIZE the LA in order to start a FINAL attack and occupation of Leban asking for the entrance of the Syrain army .
4- Have you all heard what MOHSEN DALLOLL said yesterday in jazerreah …

a- G aoun candidancy to presidency was endorsed and approved by HAFEZ ASSAD .. but due to the $$$ he got from SADDAM and terriblel strategical mistakes he made concerning the region powers MADE HIM stop the deal with assad ..
b- he finally accepted to be involved with hrawi goverment but once again his stupid political analyses and french intervention made him end up in french embassy ..
c- the folowers of AOUn need a mental check up .. they , at lesat , are NAIVE

regards