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I WANT TO BE PRESIDENT TOO

Posted by Lebanonjon

I have been thinking of campaigning to be the next president of Lebanon. I think that it would take me at least six years to create the platform necessary to achieve this goal.

Here is what I intend to do.

Year 1.

Call for Syria to disengage from Lebanon and return our prisoners

Call for all arms to be under the control of the state

Make sure that all freedom loving Lebanese support my policies by reciting Bachir Gemayel rhetoric at all occasions

Year 2

Slowly shift my attitude to accept others including the prosyrian camps

Always call for transparency, honor, independence

Begin to make secret contacts with prosyrian figures

Year 3

Begin calling Hizballah ” The Glorious Resistance” and advocating the use of their arms in any way possible.

Join the FPM and declare that I am just one small part of the 75% of christians who think Aoun should be the patriarch, the president, and the prime minister.

Get involved in dirty deals with Sleiman Franjieh, Nabih Berri, Michel el Murr, and every other corrupt politician.

Year 4

Sign an agreement with the SNNP so they don’t assassinate me.

Begin calling for a unified front to support the resistance

make secret trips to damascus to inform them of my willingness to play by their rules

Year 5

Begin creating propaganda about the Lebanese Forces and attacking the patriarch

Call every other politician corrupt and declare that I will open all the corruption files

travel secretly to damascus to beg them to elect me instead of Aoun or Gigi Bassil by convincing them that I can be the biggest Syrian stooge since Emile Lahoud

Year 6

Offer syria anything she wants and then travel to Iran and do the same

Meet with the CIA and offer them anything they want too

Beg Sayed Hassan not to assassinate me by declaring that the army will be integrated into the resistance and not the other way around.


Filed under: Other
Posted by Lebanonjon on 09.20.08 @ 5:02 pm |

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13 Comments. Add your own...

  • 1. Delta | September 20th, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    hahahhahaha

  • 2. Fuziyad | September 20th, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    they will kill you day 2 of year 1, chou bek nsit??

  • 3. paul lebanon | September 20th, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    hi guys

    awwal soura 3milta mberi7 la2i7tifel l ouwet b jounieh,wa22afoune kiwa l2amn 2al ana jasous…hahaha bass 2idyit 3a salame…ra7 3ish w2ekoul gheira :D

  • 4. kouwatje | September 20th, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    fuziyad

    you are wrong coz in year 1 he will be hiding in a very uncomfortable place called paris :P

  • 5. Tarek Gemayel | September 20th, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA mni7a Lebanonjon. good one (Y) :D:D

  • 6. paul | September 20th, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    lebanon

    hi guys

    awwal soura 3milta mberi7 la2i7tifel l ouwet b jounieh,wa22afoune kiwa l2amn 2al ana jasous…hahaha bass 2idyit 3a salame…ra7 3ish w2ekoul gheira

  • 7. Rodge | September 20th, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    LJ,

    You reminded me of someone who did the same thing, and even more, and still couldn’t manage to get near the preseidency. ha ha ha ha
    Anyway Mni7a minnak as usual

  • 8. bashirist for life | September 20th, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    Don’t count on my support. Anyway it makes for some good reading.

  • 9. Che | September 20th, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    That would be prostitution at best and not presidency agenda.

    You’re a bit late, Pal! That’s Aoun betrayal creed!

  • 10. Rasheed | September 20th, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Elli jarrab le-mjarrab, biykoun 3a2lo mkharrab!

    Nice… there is actually a similar NOWLebanon article on how to win 21 MP seats in the 2009 elections:

    http://www.nowlebanon.com/Arabic/NewsArticleDetails.aspx?ID=57587

  • 11. nevermind | September 21st, 2008 at 12:42 am

    lj i am voting for u :)

  • 12. aussielebo | September 21st, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    hahahahahahahahahahahah If thats the case, ill run for president!!!!

  • 13. madona saliba | September 22nd, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    PLEASE READ IT CAREFULLYYYYYYYYYYYYY … AND CHECK THE FACEBOOK GROUP ” al kowat lan tarka3 ma dam mo2asisoha shahid wa ka2edoha 7akim ”
    7TALOULNA L GROUP YA CHABEIB ……..
    ______________________________________________

    tama 27tilal le group min kibal kowat berri el 5asa

    ya imamo 3aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

    tama 27tilal le group min kibal kowat berri el 5asa

    لم نكن نعبث حين قلنا عن حركة امل بدافع موت و راسي رافع فان الموت لنا عادة و كرامتنا من الله الشهادة حسينيين طالما حيينا مجاهدين
    اليك سيدي يا موسى اصرخ منادي اليك اوصل سلامي وتحياتي
    اليك اهتف و اناجي
    عد سيدي الينا الى المحرومين
    عد و انظر الى حالة اللبنانين
    عد و امسح دموع الناس
    ناس اليك مشتاقين
    زمن التعصب و الطائفية قد أتى
    زمن الحرب الاهلية قد أتى
    زمن الغدر و الحقد قد أتى
    و ما من معين..!!!
    سيدي شعبك احدا” ما هاب
    و مبادرات النبيه على جميع الابواب
    فان اتت الايام السوداء
    سنتقدم لك النصر لٍواء
    فلنا فيك أما ما غاب
    و لك فينا أمل ما خاب

    يا صدرُ فيكَ الدنيا قد إكتملت ومن قال أنها بغير الصدر تكتمل،
    فليس حزب الله سوى نبض في قلب أمل و ليست أمل الا حزب الله الغالب و نبرة من صوت علي ابن ابي طالب

    و لتتاماوا المزيد فهذا اول الغيث و الويل من اعصارنا

    كلنا لأمل للعلى يا أمل, ملء عين الزمن سيفنا لأمل سهلنا و الجبل منبت لأمل قولنا و العمل

    ——————-hacked by king ali———————
    ——————–she3a hackers———————–
    ——————al kowa el dariba———————–



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