THE DIVINE SAINT at The Ouwet Front: A Lebanese Forces Blog

THE DIVINE SAINT

Posted by Lebanonjon

Oh Christians rejoice, I have news for you all
A new saint has arrived to answer your call

He’s hairy and round and hides in a hole
No, you silly old fools, he isn’t a mole!

He is wise and patient and fiercely devout
But from under the ground, he cannot come out!

You see, he made some miracles that were pretty nifty
He sent back our country, to the year nineteen fifty! (1950)

And proving his sainthood to the doubting fools
He sent more than a million people to schools!

Across this great land and all of the nation
No one escaped his divine supplication

They prayed to the Saints and God at the top
If only his divine adventure would stop

But this unorthodox saint was feeling too pious
And he swore, like the book of job, he would try us

He rallied the masses whenever he spoke
And with a wave of his hand turned tires to smoke

He turned oranges to bananas and houses into sand
And his sheeple praised him as they fled from their land

But his story is sad since he cannot emerge
To preach to his masses we he gets the urge

But you can see him on rosaries and videos too
And you can say a prayer to him as you take a poo

For the shit in the pipes will pass by his house
While he hides in the sewer like a scared little mouse

So don’t forget this dear saint or else you’ll spoil it
Shout out his name when you sit on the toilet!!

Filed under: Other
Posted by Lebanonjon on 02.07.09 @ 3:09 am | 18 Comments

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18 Comments. Add your own...

1. Jean | February 7th, 2009 at 3:56 am

Mar Hassouna! Hou ha ha ha…. The crazy general will probably be the little devil trying to trick or treat Hassoun.

JS
2. Mickel | February 7th, 2009 at 9:05 am

LJ’s posts just keep getting better and better.
3. Fuziyad | February 7th, 2009 at 9:14 am

Lebanonjon, why don’t you respect the rules???in lebanon comedy shows can make fun of all politicians except of nasrallah, he’s not like the others…he’s divine..noone can make fun of a divinity!!this is what democracy is ya 3amil!!!
4. ja3far | February 7th, 2009 at 1:46 pm

قصيدة (هذا الذي تعرف البطحاء وطأتـه)

الفرذدق

هذا الذي تعرف البطحاء وطأتـه
والبيت يعـرفه والحـل والحـرم

هذا ابن خيـر عباد الله كلهـم
هذا التقـي النقـي الطاهر العلم

هذا ابن فاطمة إن كنت جاهلـه
بـجده أنبيـاء الله قـد ختمـوا

وليـس قـولك من هذا بضائـره
العرب تعرف من أنكرت والعجـم

كلتـا يديه غيـاث عم نفعهمـا
يستوكفان ولا يعروهـما عـدم

سهل الخليقـة لا تخشى بـوادره
يزينه اثنان حسن الخلق والشيـم

حمـال أثقال أقوام إذا افتدحـوا
حلو الشمـائل تحلو عنده نعـم

ما قال لا قـط إلاّ في تشهـده
لولا التشهـد كانت لاءه نعـم

عم البرية بالإحسان فانقشعـت
عنها الغياهب والإملاق والعـدم

إذا رأتـه قريـش قـال قائلهـا
إلى مكـارم هذا ينتهـي الكـرم

يغضي حيـاء ويغضى من مهابتـه
فمـا يكلـم إلاّ حيـن يبتسـم

بكفـه خـيزران ريحـه عبــق
من كف أروع في عرنينـه شـمم

يكـاد يـمسكه عرفان راحتـه
ركن الـحطيم إذا ما جاء يستلم

الله شـرفه قـدمـا وعظمــه
جـرى بذاك له في لوحـه القلـم

أيُّ الـخلائق ليست في رقابـهم
لأوليـة هـذا أو لـه نعـــم

من يشكـر الله يشكـر أوليـة ذا
فالدين من بيـت هذا ناله الأمـم

ينمى إلى ذروة الدين التي قصـرت
عنها الأكف وعن إدراكها القـدم

من جـده دان فضـل الأنبيـاء له
وفضـل أمتـه دانـت له الأمـم

مشتقـة مـن رسـول الله نبعتـه
وفضـل أمتـه دانـت له الأمـم

ينشق ثوب الدجى عن نور غرتـه
كالشمس تنجاب عن إشراقها الظلم

من معشـر حبهم دين وبغضهـم
كفر وقربـهم منجـى ومعتصـم

مقـدم بعـد ذكـر الله ذكرهـم
في كـل بدء ومختـوم به الكلـم

إن عد أهل التقـى كانوا أئمتهـم
أو قيل من شير أهل الأرض قيل هم

لا يستطيـع جواد بعد جودهـم
ولا يدانيهـم قـوم وإن كرمـوا

هم الغيـوث إذا ما أزمة أزمـت
والأُسدُ أُسدُ الشرى والبأس محتـدم

لا ينقص العسر بسطا من أكفهـم
سيان ذلك ان أثروا وإن عدمـوا

يستـدفع الشر والبلوى بـحبهم
ويستـرب به الإحسان والنعـم
5. ja3far | February 7th, 2009 at 1:51 pm

little clown… u reminded me of what jarir said:
فغض الطـرف إنك مـن نمير فـلا كـعبـا ًبلغـتَ ولا كــلابـا
6. kezballah | February 7th, 2009 at 9:14 pm

test
7. THERESINIA | February 7th, 2009 at 9:19 pm

“He sent back our country, to the year nineteen fifty! (1950)”

OK for the rhyme; but in reality we are backwards 1000 years!!!!
8. kezballah | February 7th, 2009 at 9:25 pm

Hello to all on the blog!

Small comment on this topic: Akh ja3far I love this poem from Farazdak!! but inna fann al hija2 la yastasni a7ad 2illa roubbama 2al 2anbiya2, fa hal Sayyed Nasrallah nabiyyon?

I wish we don’t hurt each others feelings but Nasrallah is a politician we should be able to attack him and you should be able to defend him, we agree or what you think?
9. Bachir 7ay Fina | February 7th, 2009 at 11:10 pm

hehehhehehe, ra2i3a cheers
10. paul | February 8th, 2009 at 12:27 am

وقال الشاعر
إذا عرضـت للفتـى لحيـة وطالـت وصـارت إلى سرتـه
فقد ضاع عقل الفتى عندنـا بمقـدار مـا زاد مـن لحيتـه
11. Midnightflower | February 8th, 2009 at 2:21 am

Fuziyad (3): nice one.
Ja3far (4): Thank you for reminding me of the old school days and the Arabic Literature classes. You know what else you reminded me of? The court poets who were bought with divine money…. All the “madee7 fi 3ousour ma ba3da l jahiliya kan litama3 l sha3er bel mal, wa lihaza kana yatanaqal l shou3ara2 min bilaten ila akhar yamda7oun wa yahjoun…”
If only my old teacher could read this and see how much I still remember, hehe
12. Free Palestine | February 8th, 2009 at 5:45 am

What a shame. Do you have anything better to do? This sayed 2hirkon
13. Michele | February 8th, 2009 at 8:38 am

LJ chapeau!!!!

“He’s hairy and round and hides in a hole
No, you silly old fools, he isn’t a mole!” lol
14. Arze | February 8th, 2009 at 9:14 am

ma ken na2esna ba3ed gher lebanonjohn yinaket 3al massihie
15. Doccc1559 | February 8th, 2009 at 9:51 am

LJ

Good job , raja3telna michele

Michele

Doc will be a good boy if you stay around
bade min yda7ikne since li 3m bid7ak 3layon ktar…

WB girl
16. Rima | February 8th, 2009 at 3:12 pm

LJ excellent…What can someone reply ! you said it all!
17. ja3far | February 8th, 2009 at 11:51 pm

midnight… if u knew the story of the poem .. u would have known that it is the oposite of what u wrote
18. nora | February 19th, 2009 at 4:02 am

awesome… (y)