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TOP TEN THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN TO THE FPM

Posted by Lebanonjon

I was wondering the other day if Michel Aoun died (heaven forbid and Lebanon got lucky), what would happen to the FPM?

Here are the following scenarios I could come up with

1. Followers of Micho would commit mass suicide as they are doing now by following him while he’s alive.

2. Ibrahim Kenaan would get the popular support he deserves: 3 people

3. The FOUR PRINCIPLES OF AOUNISM and THE FPM would endure : 1. Hating Samir Geagea 2. Hating Saad Hariri 3. Making bad decisions 4. Bad Photoshopping Skills

4. The FPM would morph right back into the SSNP , which is what it really is in the first place only with alot more followers

5. Aoun would come back since he is on par with Jesus and if Jesus could do it, so can the GENERAL

6. The FPM might actually find a consistent position politically , something they were never able to do under General Orangutan

7. The FPM would be confused as to who to hate more : Geagea or Hariri, and self destruct

8. Lebanon would get hit by the Plague right after his death because nothing good can happen to Lebanon without something fucking it up immediately thereafter.

9. The FPM would wrap his body with a big sheet printed with the MOU and burn him ( sorry I just had to fantasize here for a second)

10. The FPM would wake up from their zombie like state and go back to being regular foufous and Nounous


Filed under: Humor
Posted by Lebanonjon on 12.27.07 @ 3:10 am |

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31 Comments. Add your own...

  • 1. c | December 27th, 2007 at 4:19 am

    i know that this is just a humorous post, but what i suspect would really happen is that the fpm would disintegrate… there is already so much dissension among the ranks! out of the fpm’s sitting mps, you’d probably end up with kanaan and camille khoury staying on as the fpm, and the rest of them splintering off (though there might be a small battle over who got to keep the name).

    if the situation were still the way it is now, i believe you’d see the decent fpmers, politicians and supporters alike, gravitating towards independent christians and the christians disillusioned by m14.

    i certainly would never wish for anyone’s death (and somehow, i think aoun is going to be with us for a looong time still), but such a scenario would, sadly, probably be the best hope for reuniting and re-empowering the core of the christian community.

  • 2. Nayek Oun | December 27th, 2007 at 5:10 am

    I must admit guys, I was a supporter of Michel Oun in the late 80’s and what a huge mistake that turned out to be. This man sold his ass and his morals to the Syrians and the Iranians. Oun failed me and all those that fought and died for him during his war versus the Syrians. Long Live Hakeem and may god keep him safe.

  • 3. Mikel | December 27th, 2007 at 7:15 am

    BRAVO!

    How do you do it?
    You should become a comedian or a writer on some sitcom, you’re very bright.

    Keep it up.

  • 4. elie | December 27th, 2007 at 7:46 am

    i agree with you…
    fpm is going down ….there is no doubt…
    but let us hope that there will be no “aoun the 2nd”.

  • 5. Michele | December 27th, 2007 at 7:51 am

    I guess the only 3 supporters that Kanaan would have would be his dad, mom and wife!!!!
    Yet i’m not sure if his wife could stand him….

  • 6. aounist | December 27th, 2007 at 7:52 am

    sorry i have to say……….
    but this is how you think you can build lebanon by hating each other…
    with all my respect to you and your website it becomes very boring talking everytime about AOUN …( so he is a famous man that’s why you talk about him …) LEAVE AOUN ALONE AND FPM ALONE …what do you want from them if these people are the minority so why you have to mention his time million times a day ….that’s awfull
    why don ‘t you talk about something more important to people like helping us to get jobs not leaving our countries ( i live in abu dhabi)… stop blaming each other because

  • 7. aounist | December 27th, 2007 at 7:57 am

    we are all responsible for what happened in lebanon ….yeah all of us …
    what kind of country you are thinking to build eh! what you want another war between aoun and geagea…so killing million of lebanese people especially christian

    in the spirit of christmas and new year i wish that you all think in other way because if you always criticize aoun there is a million of people who hates geagea… and please don’t tell me it’s not true and only fpm hate you….please get out of this level and talk in respect because if you continue like that we don’t deserve to be lebanese and especially christians…thanks

  • 8. jean | December 27th, 2007 at 8:36 am

    How can someone have a Nickname “Aounist” and pretend to be in the favor of all Lebanon and all good. At least “Lebanonjohn” portrayed the decepointement that we all have about the actions of your mad general… Why are you a Aounist anyways??/ Shouldnt u be an FPMer that has an “Akidyeh”… Is Aoun all what your ideology stands for??? What do you beleive in tell me?? Other than madoaoun becoming a president…..Start by changing your nickname

  • 9. Charbel Gharios | December 27th, 2007 at 9:11 am

    if this applies to FPM it sure applies to LF..the only hope I have is to see an election 3ala ases lkada2 to count how many neyeb LF would get or even 14 march; i would love to know how much nayla m3awad and all LFers would get…the best is to see walid jonblat also….this post is useless, you should learn how to respect the will of your own people and if you think it has changed why don’t you do another election on a fair 2anoun?? the weak Christian will miss 2aswat ldonye ??? anyway the new election is around the corner..

  • 10. Michele | December 27th, 2007 at 9:24 am

    Lek ya Aounist, who’s denying that Aoun is not famous??? He’s famous we nos!!!!! Famous for dividing the christians, famous for making christians killing each other, famous for his stupidity and most of all famous for being a cameleon!!!!
    BTW isn’t it thanks to him that most of the christians left the country? So don’t u go boo whooing on us and face the reality!

  • 11. Jay | December 27th, 2007 at 9:39 am

    relax folks this list is just for laughs, where is your sense of humor.. you got to admit Aoun is a comical character, whether with his shouting, fabrications, or even his orange outfit.. so chill!

  • 12. fad14 | December 27th, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    We dont hate Aounieh, we just feel for them, soon they will become extinct like Dinosaurs and we can only see them in museums wrapped in orange flags with the nike sign over their heads.

  • 13. Fadi | December 27th, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    I wonder why Ibrahim Kanaan’s wife can’t stand him, because he looks like hitler

    Just look at him he looks like hitler and thinks he can talk like him by raising his voice, all he can do is bite on his toe.

  • 14. Michele | December 27th, 2007 at 2:55 pm

    well actually Fadi, i think he looks more like a lezard and sounds like a crow!!!

    Hitler at least (wether we like it or not) had a vision as those people have none!

  • 15. Rodge | December 27th, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Fad & Michele,

    In my opinion, i see Ibrahim Kanaan and all the Aounists looking like Aoun himself. It’s like he clowned them all, so they look. talk, act, shout and do everything like him, and finally they will hit the wall the same way he will do.

    Lebanonjon,

    Congratulations for your great posting and keep the good work Bro

  • 16. Rodge | December 27th, 2007 at 3:24 pm

    …
    and i forgot to say that they repeat the same shit he says. it’s like a recorder

  • 17. THERESINIA | December 27th, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    I WAS A AOUNIST.
    I repeat - once more - the MEGALOMANIA for becoming president has made him mentally ILL…and PRO-SYRIAN !!!
    I am TOTALLY deceived by the man we all loved for more than 20 years….

    What makes me afraid is a SYRIAN plot to assassinate him and accuse the L.F., could you imagine what would happen ??? This is the kind of thing the syrians can do to destroy LEBANON ….

  • 18. Rodge | December 27th, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    Theresinia,

    I’m afraid u’re right, but i don’t think they will do such a thing before he become useless for them. Since so far they are benefitting from his mad acts.

  • 19. readers | December 27th, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    Mes chers Forces Libanaises connaissez-vous ce proverbe arabe qui dit:

    إذا أتتك مذمتي من ناقص فهي الشهادة لي بأنني كامل

    eh bien, a bon entendeur, salut

  • 20. THERESINIA | December 27th, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    CAN YOU IMAGINE ??? AOUN has been accusing USA and FRANCE of the ASSASSINATIONS and terrorists acts in Lebanon …He is TOTALLY INSANE !!!!

    سئل: هل ترى التصعيد الاميركي الاخير تمهيدا لتسوية شاملة مع سوريا، ام انه مدخل لتصعيد محتم على الارض في لبنان؟
    اجاب: اعتقد ان لا قدرة لديهم على التصعيد، أكثر من عملية اغتيال لا يمكن أن يحدث وهذا ما يجب ان نتحاشاه، ولكن لا أحد يملك القدرة على التصعيد في لبنان من القوى التي تهدد به، والتهديد لا يأتي فقط من الرئيس بوش بل من الرئيس ساركوزي والامم المتحدة. ولكن لا أرى ان بامكانهم ضرب الاستقرار أكثر مما ضربوه في السياسة وبعض الحوادث الامنية.

    source tayyar website
    http://www.tayyar.org/tayyar/articles-37452-GMA.html

  • 21. readers | December 27th, 2007 at 5:14 pm

    et pourquoi pas ma Chere Theresinia ?
    Tu penses que les USA et la France sont des anges ?

  • 22. THERESINIA | December 27th, 2007 at 8:31 pm

    READERS,

    SO according to AOUN….THE SYRIANS HAVE BECOME OUR FRIENDS AND THE WEST (all the West) has become our ENEMY…

    Et pourquoi pas, mon cher Readers que AOUN est devenu completement fou et a rendu beaucoup de gens completement fous ????

    MAIS LE PLUS GRAVE EST QUE VOUS FAITES DESESPEREZ LES JEUNES CHRETIENS QUI S’ENFUIENT DU LIBAN…

    FELICITATIONS POUR VOTRE PLAN QUI EST EN PHASE AVEC LE PLAN SYRIEN POUR REVENIR ET METTRE LA MAIN SUR LE LIBAN DE FACON DEFINITIVE !!!!

  • 23. Mikel | December 27th, 2007 at 10:23 pm

    Halla2 awwal chi ymout 3on,
    w ba3den kll 7adis elo 7adis :D

  • 24. paul | December 28th, 2007 at 12:56 am

    Mikel

    ma fina ni3tibro tayyib :P

  • 25. Delta | December 28th, 2007 at 6:29 am

    readers i wish u know that proverb

    il ya des stupides qui savent qui le sont
    (ca ne fait pas mal)

    il ya des inteligents qui croient qui sont parfait
    ( ca fais mal )

    il ya des inteligents qui savent qu ils ne sont pas parfait.
    ( se sont les meilleurs)

    il ya des stupides qui croient qui sont parfait
    ( cest la merde c’est ton general)

    bonne appetit et bonne soiree

  • 26. Michele | December 30th, 2007 at 7:44 am

    Chapeau Delta!!!!

  • 27. Irange | December 30th, 2007 at 9:58 am

    7aram Aouna ya Jami3a… ba3den you Forget Joubran Andil?

    houwe el khalifeh el mountazar w mich kenaan

  • 28. Michele | December 30th, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    Irange, you mean Gibran Imbassil (imbecile)!!!!! :))))))

  • 29. Irange | December 30th, 2007 at 11:39 pm

    Dear Michele,

    between Imbecile w Kandil ma fi farek w toufil el mou3jizeh… killo they describe the Irange successor!

    “El Sohr sandit el Daher”

  • 30. N.R | December 31st, 2007 at 7:04 am

    Irange

    Have some respect …

  • 31. chretienne | January 4th, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    aounist, all what you do is always blaming the lf. do you hear the news on your orange tv from 2 days? they are talking bullshit about DSG from the war days because they couldn’t find anything else. this is how you (aounist) will build a country or is it allow for you what is forbidden for others. inno ma3le ma ken fi ella elouwet bel harb, you and your houlafa were angel. this is without forgotten your website and the photoshop you made it about lf. so please balcho be halkoun and ihtermo gheirkon before you ask anything from others.



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