SOMETHING I WROTE FOR CHRISTMAS 2006 “ENJOY” at The Ouwet Front: A Lebanese Forces Blog

SOMETHING I WROTE FOR CHRISTMAS 2006 “ENJOY”

Posted by Lebanonjon

This Christmas , Santa has new toys for all the loyal Aounies. Some for little kids , others for adults and many for the youth. Here is the latest line up so that you can start your Christmas shopping early.

NEW! NEW! NEW TOY

Baathket Ball: This Orange ball won’t baounce no matter what you do with it !!!! Inflate it with helium, glue springs to it, even attach small gymnasts to it. You cannot make this damn ball baounce!!!

Have fun with all the family trying to play this enjoyable game with a non baouncing ball. SURPRISE ;For only $100 more Iranian supplied dollars , you can get your very own autographed ball. See your favorite Baathi’s signatures. A sure to be classic.

TRY THE LATEST BOARD GAME!!

Try our great new Board Game adapted from the great old classic RISK

The NEW aound IMPROVED KRSI

This Aouny game is sure to keep you all guessing. Which alliance* can you form. How quickly can you turn on your own friends. First to Create more more risky alliances in order to get to the KRSI faster wins

*Rules not included

NEW TOY!!!! GI JOSEPH

For all you military doll fans, we have the Brand New Lebanese Prisoner GI JOSEPH

Unlike other boring GI JOE’s ,This POW is in Syria unaccounted for. Even his commanding General denies his existence. GI JOSEPH comes with his own Balanco, Electrocution cords attached to his genitals and undelivered Letters to his mother. Hide GI Joseph in the closet and forget he is there. Don’t worry , you don’t have to look for him, he can stay another few years without any attention at all.

NEW KIDS FAVORITE

HEY CHILDREN For you Kids, we have a super new variation on a true classic.

PIN THE TAIL ON THE DAOUNKEY

Put a Hizballah scarf around your eyes and have your friend spin you around and around until you dont have a F%$#@KIN clue where you are . Then try to pin this tail on a life size image of a DAOUNKEY. FIRST TO SAY MOU? wins

SPELLING GAME FOR CHILDREN!!

Also for kids this educational game is all about spelling.

MOO ? or MOU? sound alike ? yes but they are not the same spelling.

This new spelling toy designed by shaytans children is specially designed to give children an incentive to learn. Spell it wrong and you get the sound of your General shouting at you to be smarter. Fun and entertaining these sound bytes are taken from many of his famous interviews.

VIDEO GAMES FOR THE YOUTH !!!!

Hey Aouny Youth, we didn’t forget about you. Our Tech elves have designed a brand new game that reenacts great battles, like Generals October 13th and Nassrallahs famous war .

This 500 Mullahbyte download is quick and easy and will have you hooked in no time.

Play Command and be Conquered

You control either a mad Mullah, or a crazed General*. See how fast you can provoke a syrian or Israeli invasion. The faster to lose his position gets the highest score. Get bonuses for drawing civilian casualties. Hold victory parades after your defeat. Enjoy this tactical brain teaser. Raise money from innocent citizens, collect cash from islamo fascist nations. Fund your own wars no matter what others say!!

*submarine and embassy sold separately

FINALLY A BOARD GAME THAT WONT GET YOU BORED

And last but not least for the Whole family based on the intellectual “Trivial Pursuit”

This version has a new direction. Buy NOW!!!!

Aoun’s Conspiracy Pursuit A.K.A Prosyrian Pursuit

Find the answers to the greatest mysteries of Lebanese Politics

Like Who Killed Hariri, Why Geagea went to prison

Want the truth??, this game is not for you.

Devise new conspiracies, ludicrous answers, retarded theories. Illogical premises. It all works in this twisted brainwashing blockbuster.

The most absurd answer wins. Anyone implicating Syria loses a turn.
__________________

Filed under: Humor
Posted by Lebanonjon on 01.14.08 @ 2:59 pm | 20 Comments

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20 Comments. Add your own...

1. Tarek | January 14th, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Hahaha!!! hilarious!
I found the Command and be Conquered the best!!!
2. philo | January 14th, 2008 at 6:57 pm

lebanonjon
there is something i like about you.
in fact im in second year psychology and retarded people like you make me love what im learning.
i know that ur cheerleaders will back you up and start defending you (well, somebody got a do it )
anyway i ll prove to you how dumb you are…
at first let me tell you that i didn’t read your comment entirely it seems long and i don’t have time to read bullshits.
however i ll comment on the first 2 paragraphs if u permit.
” baathball ” is that the ball that your what so called “DR” played with when he went do damas (wa2ta kein 3ambi3azzeh bi bassel el assad?)
or that the balls he licked when he helped syria conquering lebanon???
and as far as the money coming from iran.
i bet you have thousands of proves to back you up:
like the 2 castles that he had built since he came back to lebanon.
oh excuse me that was HAKIM. MY BAD!
3. Tarek | January 14th, 2008 at 8:20 pm

Dear Mr. Philo,

The problem in our community, and in the Christian community specifically, is that there are a lot of retarded people like you who thinks that if some people in certain stages screwed up, this makes screwing up a divine right that no one should complain about. If many tried to give up Lebanon before, this makes selling it now some thing righteous and maybe divine. And we as lebanese people we should be thankful to the people try to sell the country now; why!? because others tried to sell it before or others committed mistakes before!!!!!!! By the way, having the lebanese living in this HELL is normal when half of its population is retarded like you.

Regards,
4. Tarek | January 14th, 2008 at 8:38 pm

By the way Mr. Philo, don’t get me wrong on this but though it may be written on ur university ID “Student”, I think they actually admitted you to the psychology class as a “case study”.
5. Bachir 7ay Fina | January 14th, 2008 at 8:58 pm

philo
2ento l3awniyeh taba2a msa2afe jeddan.
n2ebir ma ba2a tejdeba w chi marra jewbo bi tari2a manti2iyeh.
6. paul | January 14th, 2008 at 9:39 pm

philo have no time to read bs,but enough time to write bs.
7. Danny | January 14th, 2008 at 10:05 pm

Retard?? =Philo… Amazing your intellectual prowess Mr. or Miss Philo. Go to another University. Univerity of Cham is not accredited unless you want to work as a slave of Damas..
8. Mikel | January 15th, 2008 at 2:28 am

Philo l air

u come in here bragging about ur philo studies yet u still manage to come with the dumbest most ignorant response ive ever heard.

ur jst jelling cz u FPMers dnt have the talent the talent that LbJ has.

HAAATTTEEERRRRR.
9. K | January 15th, 2008 at 7:15 pm

That video game is awesome people, once you manage to successfully destroy the Lebanese Christian community you get promoted to Army General. I can’t manage to beat the Lebanese Forces though, when I choose to play against them game difficulty is set on brutal and cannot be changed, I always end up getting digitally mutilated. Can someone help me?
10. philo | January 15th, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Bachir 7ay Fina
this post is filled under the file “humor”
kif beddeh red 3leh b tari2a manti2iyeh? ma3 kell heik ma hada jawabneh
my point is: how dare you guys call el GMA and FPMERS syrian when the FPM was the only one fighting syria from 1988-2005?
remember between 1990-1992 roger dib??? (whom btw i respect him a lot as a man)
remember when geagea went to damas????
remember where your artillery was shooting in the 13th of october????????
my point is you are totally free to say that GMA is mad or you don’t approve his politics or economical view or what so ever… but calling him syrian???
hel2ad ma3endkoun shi t2oulou 3anno???
tarek
i 100% agree on your first comment (except the part that you called me retarded . msemah
allow to declare you the head of cheerleaders
btw wein sar el 50+1 tarek???
11. Tarek | January 16th, 2008 at 1:22 am

Sorry Mr. Philo, I can’t quit understand you.

1st – Where did Lebanonjon in the afore mentioned article stated that Mr. Aoun is Syrian!?

2nd – What’s with you and Dr. Gaegae!? Gaegae visited damas, so what is that to do with what I believe in!? What’s that to do with the whole article!? Are you telling me something new !?

3rd – How’s the 50 + 1 thing relates to what I believe in!? If I find it right to do elections with 50 + 1, and it seems that this is not happening, does this makes Hizbulla and its allies all lebanese, lovely and beautiful!? Or it makes disarming all forces outside the government wrong!? Or maybe it makes the camp in the downtown a lovely place to visit!? Does it make initiating a war with israel something good!? Does it make the smoke of burned tires on the road healthy!? Does it make Bashar al asad someone we should hang out with!? Does it make Jubran twaini a traitor that we should celebrate his assassination!? Does it make the cold river refugee camp a red line!? Does it make all the assassinations lovely!? Does it make it legal to cheat in exams of Kitab El 3adil!? Does it make stealing electricity from the government something right!? Does make Baath party a lovely part that I should join!? Or do you suggest SSNPs party!? Maybe it does, for a retard of course!
12. Tarek | January 16th, 2008 at 1:23 am

quiet*
13. leb voice | January 16th, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Philo, first of all, any unbiased person reading the post would say its funny, and it is.

I wont discuss politics with u since i am tired of repeating and hearing the same shit over and over… you still wont give up that shitty story of yours of “Geagea visiting Damascus blablabla” we know that! we know he visited Damascus to present his condolences to Assad, but what does that have to do with the article?? this article is meant to be funny before being anything else, you wanna discuss politics?do it on a post meant to be discussed.

I must say i succumbed to temptation… FPM the only one fighting syria?? I was down there, with you, when we got beaten up by your ally MICHEL MURR! how dare you say such a thing!

ANd habibi, if tarek is the king of lebanonjohn’s cheerleaders, than you are the Great Almighty Supreme Emperor-Pope Ruler of GMA’s cheerleaders. People like you make me regret taking a ISF bat to my face that day…
14. leb voice | January 16th, 2008 at 6:25 pm

BTW great post lebanonjon hilarious! i love RISK= KRSI that was awesome! its too bad though went from laughing my guts out to smashing my keyboard while writing the previous reply… but thats ok starting to get used to retard posts
15. philo | January 16th, 2008 at 8:01 pm

tarek
1- “Baathket” ” See your favorite Baathi’s …” i only red the first paragraph and noticed these two. P.S.: baath is hezb el hakem in syria if you didn’t know…
it’s aounie’s CHRISTMAS TOYS!!!
my point is i understand when you lie to yourselves and you say that geagea is a doctor while we all know that how much of a doctor he is.
but it seems that you are used to lie and claim aoun is syrian that’s why i wanted you to enlighten me and show me how GMA is syrian
2- i only wanted to light on a time where the only person facing syria was GMA
3- i used to read your posts tarek and it broke my heart to see a citizen like you an LFER, who followed his own opinion and the opinion of his leader (50+1 elections) seeing his ambition vanish.
not because i agree on 50+1 or because i like to see you “mabkhou3″!
but because i wanted to see your reaction toward your leader who gave empty promises and to show you how blindly you are following SG.
that doesn’t mean that GMA is better but what is your reaction when all the promises of your leader were never held (es2at lahoud; 50+1; ra2iss 3askareh; te3dil el doustour…)?
16. Tarek | January 16th, 2008 at 11:40 pm

philo,
1st – I never said that Aoun is Syrian and I never claimed that.
2nd – Baath is a party in Lebanon too and it’s an ally of Aoun just as hizbulla, SSNP and many others in case you did not know.
3rd – I only call a person Dr. when I find it appropriate, I know many doctors and I don’t call them doctors I call them by their name.
4th – I have no leader, I am the leader of myself, and if you ask me I can do a better job than all of the leaders in march 14.
5th – I support the party which I find my self sharing the most interests, principles and goals with it, not for the love of its leaders, history or followers! I only support parties I do not follow them.
6th- Even before the elections was discussed I already was aware that the debate of 50 + 1 is appropriate or not, and I found it appropriate just like any other country around the world.
7th- I am only disappointed by the lebanese people and I hold them responsible for every harm that may fall upon Lebanon. Every man is the owner of his own decisions and actions. I don’t blame neither Syria nor any other leaders.
17. Tarek | January 16th, 2008 at 11:40 pm

leader*
18. philo | January 17th, 2008 at 2:18 pm

ok tarek
i got your point which surprised me!!!
and let me tell you that with people like you, i have a total respect to them.
except plz can you answer me to one question:
“I only support parties I do not follow them.”
why do you support the LF now?
when you keep supporting a party even when it let you down, and doesn’t respond to your ambitions, doesn’t that make you a follower???
19. proud 2 b lf | January 17th, 2008 at 9:04 pm

i have a weird feeling that tells me philo is gai:P looooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
w3a ya sabe…2iza ma baddak tou3a 3al 2alile koun rejjel lol:P
20. Tarek | January 17th, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Though LF did not reach the goals all real Lebanese want, it is still fighting for them. When it surrender and give it up I won’t support it. You have to remember something philo, that if LF did not reach its goals I will always be thankful to LF that at least it fought for it not stood watching or fought against it. Remember the road to success is paved with failure and remember what I told you before, that I only hold the lebanese people responsible for what might happen, not the lebanese forces nor any other party., because if my gaols of seeing a real free country were not reached, it is only because a large number of the so called lebanese people are fighting against a free lebanon. If all lebanese stood side by side for freeing lebanon and cleaning it, it would have been done long ago.