Its that time of year again! and the Lebanonjon Toy Company has its latest
toys for those Syrian Iranian lovers…..

CALL OF DUTY 5 “RETURN TO SHAM”

The latest video game from EL7ASSTRONIC ARTS, is based on the Mad General Michel Aoun who is called for duty for a 5th time in Syria. The gameplay is phenomenal with real shots of Micho getting on a real SYRIAN plane to Damascus. As the character has gotten older in this game you have to deal with new challenges like memory loss and medication to remain coherent. Again the game is about finding your way through the Syrian Presidential Palace in order to Kiss Bachars Ass. Dodge Villians like Mustapha Tlass, and Asef Shawkat . Multiple players available with the Midget hero Gibran who will help you in your quest.

SUPER MARIO AOUN BROTHERS

This is definitely a little kids game and brings back some of your favorite Aoun characters who are ready to jump, fly, crawl and kiss ass to get coins. You control either LOUGIGI or MARIO AOUN and the new levels are not challenging for the mentally impaired aouny followers.

MOU-NOPOLY

A great take on on an old classic!!
In MOUNOPOLY , the streets are a bit different and unlike MONOPOLY where you can buy property, in MOU NOPOLY you have the right to TAKE property over. First you have t make alliances or MOU’S and then you can start to really take shit over. For example you can take over the Martyrs Square and all of downtown instead of paying for it. In the old MONOPOLY you had to build and create houses and hotels but in MOUNOPOLY you have to destroy houses, hotels and even the whole country if you are really good. If you are the lucky player to get the Dahie Property then you can control all the other colored properties..( yellow, orange, green and shit colored)..( need I say more)…..

TATARI GAME CONSOLE

Just like ATARI was a winner,SHAYTAN ELECTRONICS has created TATARI which is just a step down from the classic gaming console.
Buy the TATARI and you will be happy because it has a special plug that connects to EDL power lines for free. Never have your parents pay for your fun!
TATARI also has great new game titles like TATARIS ( similar to TETRIS but once you build blocks the IDF destroys them)
TATARI comes with a 4.5 Mullahbyte hard disk capacity.

MET3A BARBIE DOLL

Hey all you young M8 girls we have a toy for you. It is a very respectful and completely covered BARBIE DOLL who comes with her own MET3A license for one hour, one day or one week time limits. Take MET3A Barbie anywhere on her Yellow Mobillette. Dress her up until only her eyelashes show and have her work the neighborhood with her Met3a License. She wont disappoint !!!

NAOUNTENDO “TFii” CONSOLE

Just like Nintendo Wii was a winner console, AOUNTENDO TFii is a loser console for all those aouny losers out there who like to blame the world for their problems. Where evrything is a conspiracy against them, the NAOUNTENDO TFii is your gaming experience. the TFii has a controller that allows you to play “min el zinnal ou bel nezel” . Hook the electrodes to your brain and the AOUNTENDO TFii will turn you into a zombie who shouts spits and generally behaves like spastic douchebag.

We have a great matal in Lebanese: meen jarrab al mjarrab kan 3a2lo mkharrab… It means you are crazy if you keep trying to use something broken!

Everyone is talking about opening a new page with Syria but they are still the same old regime since 40 years! I wish to see our problems with Syria solved and to have a normal relation with them, but I don’t think it will happen in our life unfortunately and I am almost 100% sure that Syria will abuse us again and be a bad neighbor like they have been all the time.

I don’t believe that a magical change will happen and suddenly the same old regime will start to respect Bkerki’s wishes for Lebanon independence, or respect the UN resolutions and the UN court for Lebanon, or tell the truth on the fate of our political prisoners, ETC… ETC… I hope I am wrong but I don’t think so, Syria is Syria with the same old Baath mentality, their idea of a nice gift is sending us Fate7 Islam from their jails, or giving us rockets to fight their war while they negotiate over our bodies, or creating this fake Papa Noel – Papa Michel with a Syrian costume and the Baath traditional song SKITOUUUU instead of HOHOHO.

It is all an obvious fairy tale, but we are forced to sit and watch it and believe it will be real this time because our government did not respect our vote in the last election. If Syria screw us again, we should not blame Bashar, we should blame Hariri and Hezbollah and all the Syrian elves like Aoun and Frangieh. Until we find out what will happen at least we can be proud of Bkerki and Patriarch Sfeir who is the only Lebanese to know when and how to visit Syria!

Anyway forget Syria and Merry Christmas!

PS: but don’t take gifts from this guy they suck!

PAPA MICHEL – SKITOUUUUU!

The picture of Saad Hariri shaking hands with the butcher of Damascus is a very sad sight for any free man Lebanese or not Lebanese, it reminds of Walid Joumblat shaking hands with the butcher senior Hafez after his own father was killed by the Syrians (but we should check with Nasrallah maybe he will also say that it is the Americans who killed him?).

The only funny part of this trip is about all our stupid politicians who were hoping to be part of the “Wafed” to Syria, every day on the news they ask those ass kissers will you accept to be part of the delegation to Syria and they will all say yes I don’t have a problem to join the delegation (haram they are all so nice and open minded hehehe), but today Hariri went alone to Syria with his brother only!

Al shou Hariri was received in “Qasr al Sha3eb”, wleh ayya sha3eb haida, ya 7aram I wonder if the symbol of the palace is a big boot on the head of the people. Today I thank God that I grew up in a free society, you have to experience freedom to know what it is worth, it is not enough to work in the USA and eat Mc Donalds burger to know the value of freedom, in Lebanon and in the Middle East freedom is not free, you have to make a big sacrifice to taste it, you have to fight the mighty Syrian army for 100 days in Achrafieh and break the head of Hafez Assad to know its real taste, you have to throw a shoe at Bush in Iraq, you have to fight Israel out of your country like in the year 2000, you have to force the Syrian occupation out like in 2005, I LOVE this freedom more than I love myself because without it life has no meaning!

Now as a Lebanese citizen all I can do is stay faithful to the memory of all the martyrs and freedom fighters until all the problems with Syria are solved, we should not visit Syria before the major problems with them are solved, no one with self-respect should kneel to a killer.

This is why Bachir created the Ouwet, this is why the Ouwet doesn’t belong to any person no matter what his name is, the Ouwet belongs only to the Lebanese who love freedom and know its value. Wa inna Allah ma3 al Sabireen

Dear Butcher Al Assad,

We were so sorry to hear that your seemingly quiet, and uninvolved-in-politics brother, Majd died, and not you. It is rare to hear of someone from your family who is not a sleazy, scumbag dictator with a stupid long neck like a fucking giraffe. Needless to say we were very upset to hear that only the good die in Syria except of course if you were driving the Mitsubishi Pajero with a missing headrest

At first we wondered if you and your father were really evil aliens with that cone-head, dufus moustache look of yours, but when we saw the family picture, we recognized that retarded look running conspicuously through your slowly but pleasantly diminishing family tree.

While we cannot justify ever contacting you, as we are self respecting Lebanese who honor the missing, tortured, and dead Lebanese citizens who suffered at the hand of you and your fathers murderous regimes. We can take pleasure that a scumbag like Michel Aoun and his midget wonderkid-in-law Gigi have shown their true colors by racing each other to get to your villainous court and kiss your buttocks in adulation.

I hope you can take equal pleasure in knowing that all these filthy politicians will once again be plying and vying for your favors. Unfortunately for you, despite all your efforts, somehow the Patriarch,the Lebanese Forces and millions of Lebanese at home and abroad, are there to resist your attempts to swallow Lebanon.

As the great Bachir Gemayel once said so prophetically “Lebanon is easy to ingest, but impossible to digest”.

We hope in this sad time for you, that you reflect on this reality and realize that your bad times will likely endure.
For sure as the sun has risen every morning for thousands of years on the land of the cedars, our dream of a Free Lebanon will never die. We know that we will endure long after you and every future Assad has been buried and forgotten. For as history can attest, we will still be here.

You, thankfully, will not.

Disrespectfully,

LEBANONJON
10452KM2