TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF MUTA’A MARRIAGES

You are at a party in Dahieh, and your friend Ali says ” I am bored, lets get married for a few minutes” . In this case your answer would be…..

1. Yes sure, I still have my mutaa license from last week !!
2. Wait we have to get Ali Ammars approval, I’ll be right back. I thinK I saw him with Fneish in the basement.
3. You fool don’t you know I’m married to Haidar since my first cup of zamzam at 5pm
4. Do you have ‘fajr lal najr’ condoms ?, I won’t mutaa without tham

You meet some Aounies from Rabieh at an HA/FPM coordination event in Bir Hassan and a young Orange haired girl with yellow underwear says to you ” Hi ca va kifak ? Bhibb el moukawame , T’ aime le muta’a? In this case you say …..

1. Sure we have the MoU-TA’A agreement with the FPM so it should be no problem
2. Wow your underwear matches my yellow slippers!!, lets have doggy mouta’a style
3. I have to go stab someone in dikweneh with my friends , can we do this in a couple of hours?

You meet a girl with a full Chador on and you like her exposed eyelashes but are not sure about the rest of the package. You would like to invite her for a long night of Muta’a but you need to be certain. In this case you….

1. Get a Muta’a license for 30 Seconds renewable continuously for 24 hours
2. Get a Muta’a license for 1 hour and hope for the best
3. Get a 24 Hour Muta’a license in your name and your friend Mahmouds just in case, because he likes fat, ugly girls.
4. Go back and have muta’a with Orange Jessy from rabieh and don’t risk it.

You have something wrong with your little hassouna but you still want to have Muta’a with the married woman next door. In this case you say…

1. I have syphilis from another marriage, do you still wanna Muta’a?
2. I ran my hassouna into a meat grinder by acccident, but I am fine, lets have muta’a
3. That smell is from the garbage dump next door, you are such a Muta’a Milf , lets do this

You are in a Muta’a marriage with your first cousin and the license lasts 48 hours. While on your mobilette you meet a “Muta’a Gone Wild” actress in downtown Dahieh. She wants you, you want her………what do you do ??

1. Take her on the mobilette handle bars back to your cousin and have a Muta’a Threesome
2. Be honest and tell her that you will get a divorce from your cousin faster than she can say ” Al mowto li Amrika” so that you can be together for the rest of the day.
3. Don’t say anything , by law you are allowed 4 Muta’a wives at a time.

No women are willing to have Muta’a with you. Even your hairy grandmother who was rumored to have slept with the entire resistance in one night refuses to spend one measly muta’a minute with you.
You are desperate and you notice your neighbors goat “barsa’ making eyes at you…….In this case

1. Muta’a marriage license is not required.
2. Muta’a license doesnt work for animals , you must apply for a Bestiality Muta’a
3. “Barsa” is already married to your cousin Ja3far so you must wait 24 hours for that license to expire.

Once again those who love Lebanon as a democratic, independent and open nation are in the gun sights of Syria. As Hariri and Jumblatt follow the likes of Aoun and Hizballah to kiss the robes of the Syrian Dictator, the Lebanese Forces members and myriad other like-minded Lebanese are left to bear the aspirations of our martyrs.

This is not an unfamiliar place. We have been here since as long as we can recall. The line we follow is unwavering; We accept nothing less than an independent and free voice in this middle east. We look for tolerance and religious expression. We seek free markets and financial prosperity. We relish connections with all nations and all cultures. We want a stable powerful country that allows for all its citizens ideals.

Those who seek to silence us are many and worse among them are those who claim to be Lebanese.

I wonder what kind of a person accepts to visit Syria when so many Lebanese are unaccounted for in Syrian jails and graves?

I wonder what kind of a person accepts to have a militia doing the bidding of a foreign country within his own nation’s borders?

I wonder what kind of person accepts foreign funds to fuel hatred within his country?

I wonder what kind of person accepts to be a second class citizen in his own country?

I will not bother one moment with the so called Leaders who most Lebanese follow blindly. I ask the citizen directly; what lies in your heart? Where is your dignity? Where is your self respect?

When will you begin to make decisions based on your country’s best interests?

Those of us who understand the words that I write know that Lebanon will never be free from these traitors until the citizen learns to think for himself; learns to see his Nation as precious, as fragile, as a treasure.

Until that time, we remain as guardians of this hope and this vision. We remain dignified under attack and resolute under fire. We will not bend and we will not back down. We will have a Free Lebanon for the Lebanese or we will die trying.

10452 KM 2